Greetings. Its been a great long day considering how little I’ve been sleeping lately, but all is working out well except for the major tanning session. At this very moment it feels like the Penang trip really did wonders, the basketball which also took my mind off things and things are starting to fall into place again. I’ve been missing in action from a lot of things, like a form of withdrawal syndrome which I tend to do when I’m feeling really messed up or troubled.

The truth is, the person whom I’ve spent disliking while growing up is no longer around; and how I wish so badly that I can be a better grand daughter and not only regret not spending enough time with her. Being a teenager, transforming into a young adult will always be the toughest challenge because it is this point where we discover so many things about ourselves and this is when we learn from our mistakes. I’ve made like 238642986482 mistakes while growing up, messed up really bad but it sure feels great now that I’m sorta graduated from the past.

The last two weeks left me in pretty bad shape mentally, feeling all worn out; seeing flashes of my late grandmother around the house. Its always difficult when you wake up from nightmares middle of the night, and lets not mention the amount of goosebumps I get while working downstairs alone. I’ve always wondered how it’d be like if she passed away somewhere else instead of at home, wondering if that would have left a lesser impact on us back home. Plus, she’s lived with us almost all my life; so her absence was greatly felt.

It turns out that when you spend an entire lifetime hating or being angry about somebody, is a total waste of time. I regret all of that now,and this taught me a great lesson of just letting go off any anger towards anybody. That was one of the main reason why I picked up basketball actively again. Once upon a time ago, while I was still in highschool; I was playing for school team, I’d consider myself slightly above average despite my 5″3 height wtf maybe I’m exaggerating my height wtf but I’ve always loved basketball. I loved it so much that it became some form of escapade from my painful reality at that point.

If you’ve read my previous entries from years ago, well I kinda went through this major withdrawal period. Its not like I pop out from my mother’s stomach and sound as positive as I am today, I went through hell and lived through it. I called it hell because of the degree and extent of the damage done to myself, my character and the people around me. Hence, I spent a good two years just zoning out to do my own thing with an attempt to completely wipe out bitter memories of the past. I’m sure there’s a couple of you like myself out there who runs away from the painful reality, shut down and hide.

The reason I’m bringing this up today is to remind myself that I’m ready to revisit all that I’ve left behind. I stopped basketball for nearly four years, because I wanted to be off the grid. I wanted to be forgotten, or at least the person I used to be. I’d gladly say that all my efforts paid off, and I really am happy with the way things worked out. The most awesome part about revisiting your past is the part where you rediscover all the missing pieces of yourself which has been erased through your used-to-be closes friends. Here’s Laurence who’s doing a great job telling me all the things that I’ve forgotten about myself.

Its not everyday that you find people who can remind you about yourself, its not everyday that you find people to love you for everything that you are. You can’t avoid negativity, but if you build yourself in within an array of magnetic positive force; only great things can happen. I really am not bothered and couldn’t care less about anything negative thrown at my face at the moment because I know that I’m walking the talk. Just a simple theory, it doesn’t mean that everyone else has moved on just because you have.

I really miss being a bitch, no really. I want to get angry so badly these days but I just can’t.
I guess at some point of our lives you’ll learn to love others more than you love yourself.

On a lighter note, here are some pictures from last Thursday night at Hard Rock Cafe,Penang.

He’s an awesome guitarist, we were awed! Now are you ready for a dose of future leading architects?

Sherene & Timothy.

Chui Nee & Justin.

Had an awesome time dancing with Matthias.

Hey Linda, its your birthday today! Blessed birthday!

Yee Cheng who turned 21 that night.

Jeric who doesn’t seem to get drunk.

Faliq who pulled off an awesome mohawk after the afro!

Khairi my photokaki.

This is Rian.

Gorgeous Carol & Chui Nee.

Party people !!!

Tzi-Li, Hsien Yi & Sherene.

Cousin Serene, Carol, Ping Xin & Tzi-Li.

Top left: Faliq, myself, Jeric, Yee Cheng, Rian and Welson.

Matthias oh Matthias, what were you looking at?

So has your perception of architects changed? Architects are probably the most awesome people around, or let me rephrase that; architecture students who make it through to be an architect are all “something”. People who’re driven by passion, endurance and self-belief who learn the value of compromising at a very early stage. The people who make the world, ever wonder what we’re equipped with?

It’ll always be a battle for me to find time to do it all. I’ve got great news to share, no more few days apart updates; I think I’ve fully recovered and licked my wounds. Some things are built to last. This space is my home, and sorry that I’ve been on vacation for a bit. Thank you for the emails, sorry that I’m bad with replying comments; but I really am happy to have such a great consistent readers. Every friendship begins from something.

I’m pretty excited for my birthday this coming Saturday 2nd October.

Related posts:

1. Greetings From Sydney!
2. Heart in Hotels.
3. Play With Abandon.

Posted on Monday, September 27th, 2010 in Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Past, Personal Writing Masterpieces. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.