Happy Sweet 16th to my brother, Wen Yang.
I highly doubt that you read my blog, but I’ll call you in the morning to make sure that you do. I wish I was home to be there to tell you how much I love you, and watching you grow from as a baby crawling; that adorable face of yours still lingers fresh in memory. You’ve always been the naughty one but being the youngest (well fed too!) you’ve got the best nutrients that led you being the smartest child at home. I sit here alone up at 2am pondering if I should give you a call (although I did call you earlier today to ask for your shoe size wtf) and missing home at the same time. If I was around I think I would have thrown you a party with the cousins, take you out for a movie marathon although you always find it shy to walk around with me because people would give you the look. I promise that I’ll make it up to you when I get home next week. Have an amazing birthday and may you be blessed with all the love & happiness you can find. Be a good boy and listen to mummy! I love you.

I rarely write about my siblings or my family in particular because they’re the most important people to me. Truth is, I have two amazing younger brothers. One who looks considerably older than I am, and the other celebrating his 16th birthday today.

As years passed, we’re all grown up now. I miss home.

Wen Zhi is probably one of those guys who has got the good looks & charm, hardworking, scores well in his A-Levels, mindful and he’s one person I have no secrets with. (except for some things, of course) Its amazing how we share the same facial features if you notice hard enough, since I’m the elder sibling (so you copied me boy!), but we’re so different in our own ways. I’m the dare devil who charges forward braving the storm and get drowned a couple of times in the oceans; whereas he’s the calm & collected brother who weighs the consequences of every single thing moderately. I’m kinda glad my highschool dramas, being the person I was; it kinda kept him out of trouble and he had the first insight on how being the popular one can be a one way ticket straight to hell.

He’s more realistic than I am, I reckon that I still live life with a pinch of hope that dreams do come true. I remember how he’d always cover for me whenever I get home late at night, or we’d make crazy plans to just go have our nasi lemak at Anggerik. Wen Zhi has taught me some life lessons about the value of family and money; despite him being the younger sibling, I wish I was a little more like him at times. Through those years when grandma was battling cancer back at home; he’d be the one who takes good care of everything. The most compassionate and sensitive person I’ve ever known, the ability to tell the clear lines between right and wrong.

You know how being the elder sibling you’ll want to do everything you can to make sure your brothers don’t repeat your mistakes; I’ve done everything I can within my powers to expose him to how it feels to be within the popular crowd when he was first entered high school. He had all the doors opened up to him; with hopes that he sees the value that there’s no need to succumb to peer pressure to start smoking, swearing, or messing around with girls in order to attain recognition as the ‘It’ guy in school. He was already a superstar on his own, for his kick-ass ability to study and I adore his determination to live life the right way. He was the cool nerd, who does choir, ballroom dancing and a gym freak.

If you’re reading this bro, I hope you’ll continue striving for what you truly believe in. There may be times where you weigh the consequences of what you pursue, being realistic is great; but always leave room for magic to take place. I’m sorry that you’ve always been the big bro to me in times of need, and dealing with the consequences of my actions. I hope that I’ll make you proud, as a sister; and I’m proud to have you as a brother. I know you love me and always know that I’d take a bullet for you. Being away from home has made me realized how much time I’ve wasted not spending it with my family; my backbone and supporting pillars.

Its always fun to take your brothers out shopping and teaching them how to dress up well; without them having to go through fashion identity crisis spending so much unnecessary money before getting it right. I’d rather give them a first hand experience on how to be a smart shopper and the value of money. He’s now driving a pretty decent ride, who scores well in studies, filled with self-confidence, humble and mindful. I love you bro, for all that has happened over the years; I know it was never tough being in the shadow of my past, but believe me that I’ve tried my best to fix the wrongs and make it up to the both of you. If there’s anything I’ve learned from daddy, it’d be the importance of having a relationship between siblings. I’ll never feel alone in this world, because I know I’ll always have two brothers who’ll always love this sister who drives them up the wall when I PMS back home.

I can’t imagine living under the same roof with siblings who know nothing about one another living their own lives filled with secrets and deception. I guess the value of selflessness is a family value that can never be built overnight. I’ve always fear the possibility that one day I might not know my brothers anymore; that’d be horrible. I remember how I would go shop with my brothers, take them out to try new food places which our parents wouldn’t have time to explore; and how I’d always call home to ask if they wanted supper. (the answer was always yes btw)

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me.
I’m more than a bird
I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me.

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see.
It may sound absurd, but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me.

Up, up and away,away from me
It’s all right, you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy,or anything
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees.

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream.

Sometimes, when a heart breaks; no it don’t breakeven.

Related posts:

1. Brothers of Mine.
2. Love Others Above Yourself;
3. Heart in Hotels.

Posted on Monday, June 13th, 2011 in Cheerio thinks a lot, Family, Melbourne, Past, Personal Writing Masterpieces, Youtube. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.