I haven’t really been able to pen down a single piece from the heart wtf its not like I’m literally using a pen but to be honest its really hard when you feel like you have this gigantic ball of overwhelming sad emotions chasing you around; literally. The scenario where a ball keeps rolling and it’ll never stop because the ball is round,and most of the time I’m running in an open field.

Don’t mean to confuse you,but if you do catch my drift.
I haven’t been coping well,on the inside.
In order to not succumb to the fear of over exposing yourself to the fact that you might be little more than just being upset,which projects vulnerability to everyone else; guess I’m just gonna pour it out as always.

Yesterday I received this text message from a friend,which was pretty moving I must say; about how fragile life can really be and how we often fail to appreciate the little things in our lives. Spread your horizons wide; they say, and you’d probably end up focusing on the big picture missing out on the main picturesque which happens to be the ones who paint your life.

Take a sit back,and put this into serious thought. who matters to you?

Carlson, Lester and Wen Yang.

Adriel, Wen Zhi, Adrian & Calvin.

Over the recent years of desperately trying to wipe out my entire memory if its possible because of how painful it was, left this chain of actions where I’d instantaneously forget. The ability to just not think about something,or at times even to an extent where I’d choose not to acknowledge its existence. I’ve forgotten a lot off the past,and I think I’m starting to regret it.

The ex-boyfriend Aaron said this to me the other day,although I’ve not met him in more than 4 years; this was his statement. According to him, I am probably the nicest person you’d ever meet for the degree and extent I’d go and I’m the meanest most heartless when its the opposite. As scary as that may sound, its true.

I need to know.
Why am I so heartless,no feeling of remorse for some. Having to lead a charmed life all along,excluding the hiccups along the way; i think the toughest part about recovering from a tragedy which hits you when you’re young is that it shapes you. The challenge to forgive & forget.

Cousin Serene.

It sucks to feel like you’re constantly at the receiving end for everybody else’s business and troubles.

Perhaps I am just feeling all the pressure from everything at the moment. Things happen when you least expect them to,even when it comes to people. I’m starting to just live in the moment,and of course loving every minute spent with them. Its not hard to tell when I love you.
Much love,cheerios.

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Related posts:

1. My,Marry Him wtf’s.
2. A Pardonable Insanity.
3. He Said,She Said.

Posted on Wednesday, December 9th, 2009 in Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Love & Romance, Past, Personal Writing Masterpieces. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.