One day I went to City Hall to get a
license for Sex. The clerk asked me what
I wanted; I told him I wanted a license
for Sex.

He said “I would like to have one too!”

When I said “But this is a dog.”

He said he didn’t care what she looked like.

Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve
had Sex since I was two years old.”
He replied, “You must have been a strong
boy.”

When I decided to get married, I told
the minister that I wanted to have Sex
at the wedding. He told me to wait until
after the wedding.

I said “But Sex has played a big part in
my life and my whole lifestyle revolves
around Sex.”.

He said he did not want to hear about my
personal life and would not marry us in
a church. I told him everyone coming to
the wedding would enjoy having Sex
there. The next day the Justice of the
Peace married us. My family is barred
from the church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us
on the honeymoon. When I checked into
the motel I told the clerk that I wanted
a room for my wife and myself and a
special room for Sex. The clerk said
that every room in the motel is for Sex.

Then I said, “You don’t understand. Sex
keeps me awake at night.”

The clerk said, “Me too.”

One day I told my friend that I had Sex
on TV. He said “Show off!”I told him it
was a contest, and he told me I should
have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated we went to
court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I
was married.”

The Judge said, “Me too.”. When I told
him that after I was married and
divorced, Sex had left me, he again said
“Me too.”

Well now I’ve been thrown in jail, been
married, divorced and had more trouble
with that dog than I ever gambled for.
Why just the other day when I went for
my first visit with the psychiatrist and
she asked me “What seems to be the trouble?”

I replied, “Well, Sex has died and left
my life. It’s like losing a best friend
and it’s so lonely.”