Being asked to do a simple task such as writing seems easy enough. However, being asked to just “write” without given an actual topic to concentrate on is very hard indeed! It looks like I’m going to have to wing it.

Life can be full of unexpected things. For example, I have been through a few gfs ( well, 4 actually)  in the last 14 years (continuously too without break I might add) and I was recently “bamboozled” or in a way forced to endure another round of separation a couple of weeks back. Sure, being single isn’t all doom and gloom, I see that now and  in fact, I am looking forward to what being REALLY single is all about.

But it does get me thinking, why did it go wrong? When did it go wrong? It also begs the question, HOW did it all go wrong? Out of the 4 relationships, the longest one I had was for 7 years, and I nearly married that one. And it was also this relationship that we actually talked and had a sort of mutual break-up, which left us both relieved, but left me broke with a very expensive bill from the cancellation of the wedding. Needless to say, we’ve never stayed as friends, although I wanted to. The next girl I dated ended up sadly as a rebound for her and perhaps a bit for me, as it lasted for only 7 months, before I found out she had a jealous streak that I couldn’t take. This then led me to my current ex, which lasted almost 1 ½ yrs, while my ex of 7 months ended marrying her ex that she dumped because of me 5 months later.

Now the last girlfriend I had was so full of drama and stuff, I didn’t know how I managed to tolerate and take all that crap for so long. I guess I was actually in love with her, and was willing to change my ways that she found no acceptable to her standards. Now the ways I am mentioning about aren’t the “wandering” or “bad” ways that one might think, but it’s mostly habits that family and friends find ok, but she couldn’t.

Initially we had a lot of arguments over this. I told her that I would try to change, but she should at least try to understand who I was, as it didn’t make me a bad person. The worse thing that came out from this was that she wanted to call the shots, and when I told her I’ll try to change and I would appreciate it if she was more understanding and less critical, she tells me that she will NEVER compromise for me. Now, after hearing that, you would think alarm bells and warning signs would come up, and I would just think fast and get out of this relationship before it sank, but there was something about her that I felt very happy and contended with. Needless to say, the 1 ½ years was a real struggle, breaking up and getting back together no less than 10 maybe 15 times. Each time, I promised to change, and she will again highlighted I should change, or else. And as always, there will be NO compromise on her part.

So after 1 ½ years, she decides to end things, when there were no fights or arguments or anything I could think about that would set her off. She had just been bored I think (as she’s on a long hiatus from working) and going out late nights meeting up with high school and primary friends that she hasn’t see for yonks. There were also other people who she didn’t know, but because she was supposedly one of the most popular in schools, she was getting quite a bit of attention, as especially from the guys that couldn’t approach her before, but could approach her now since they think they’re successful.  I guess with that, compounded by her sorry excuse of having no feelings for me anymore, and because of my certain traits I find hard to change for her, she decided to just act all weirded out for a month or so, before calling me to end things, and then running off to Australia a day later, until now.

Look, I can take the whole breaking up thing. I can also understand perhaps we weren’t meant to be together because we had a lot of issues cropping up and had difficulties to deal with it. There are always no perfect couples in a relationship. And although being dumped by this one is actually a blessing in disguise, I find her methods of doing it rude and kid-dish, and totally unacceptable. I’ve been trying to come to terms with this, but what I cannot accept is she thinks a ways is ok, and she claims she cares about me, and still wants to be friends. I mean, if she really cared about someone, she wouldn’t have done what she did, period. I find it a cheap excuse for her to try to get back her once popular life, while wanting to be innocent about everything, AND be right hoping to gain the benefits of being friends.  I had told myself I would not get myself sucked in with all of this anymore, and although this experience had left me as heartbroken as the time I was cheated on by my first ever love,  it has definitely left me with a new approach to life that I intend to latch and move on. Whether I’ll still be friends with this one is hard to say at the current moment, but I now know that I shouldn’t beat myself down because of it, as I had tried my very best and I had no regrets .

-anonymous, 16th Nov 2008.

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Posted on Saturday, November 15th, 2008 in Past. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.