Good day again. Its now 5am in the morning, and for some reason I woke up out of a deep sleep; now I’m forced to stay awake because I think I’m gonna try to wake up a little later in the morning. September is finally here,and I’ve always loved September to be frank because of how its usually the month where things sort of gets exciting. Its usually the month where I get to travel the most due to road trips & site visits, its usually the time of the year where I start listing down my wishlists for my birthday in October.

However,there is a twist for this year due to the recent passing of my grandma. I’m not allowed to attend or host any form of celebration; brings bad luck to others and I guess its only normal not to celebrate something when I’m supposed to be grieving, right? I’m not disappointed at all to be frank, turning 22 seems like just another figure to get by; can’t wait to grow up and meet the real working world (although most people would go wtf about this). I believe in embracing your age,and do what you’re supposed to; do it well of course.

People tend to strive for the best, thats completely normal of course; but do you strive to outdo others, or do you strive to be your very best? See, there’s this whole new ordeal when it comes to doing something for yourself because you want it and doing it to either please/outdo/prove yourself to others. It all boils down to where the passion lies.

As much as I try not to talk too much about my thoughts that may come off wrongly as if i’m preaching wtf; but I would really love to come back to this page someday in years to come looking back at my current state of mind.I wouldn’t want to remember the advertorials I’ve written for a part-time income as a student; but instead I’d love to remember all the tiny details even if it reaches the extent of what I ate today. I know how I’ve been pushed to go on to the next level in doing what I do now, but I really do love how this would remain as a personal space even if it means just being myself.

I think its completely stupid for people to get annoyed in anyway because to some extent you’ve got to look at it from my point of view. Blogging has been a part of me, its not like I can wipe out MissyCheerio off Google/Yahoo wtf; things are permanently disclosed and I like it my way. Regardless of how my parents disapproves my love of writing and sharing my thoughts; I’m pretty sure my children someday would want to read about my growing pains and perhaps learn from it. Its a real person you’re reading about, not a reporter, not a celebrity; just a twenty-one year old striving to be an architect who happens to have a rough past, tough present & astounding future wtf.

I am strong-willed and that intimidates it seems. I had an incident the other day at Red Box where I caught someone lying to my face and I felt nothing but shameful & sorry; truth is, maturity really comes with age. I’m not exactly the most mature person to begin with, but I think good values go a long way. To me, its those things that remain in within your conscience and people don’t seem to get the meaning of karma; of how it’ll always come back to bite you in the back. I’ll let nature take its course from this point forth, karma is unforgiving.

What I’d love in the next year to come is to strengthen my skills as an architecture student, try to be less sensitive and perhaps learn to master the art of forgiving. Anger has consumed me far too much last year, and I guess in someways my grandma’s passing has thought me a lesson I never thought I’d learn; to live life with a larger heart. It doesn’t matter if you get fired with arrows ala Robin Hood style wtf; just get your knight in shining armor to block it wtf and go give your enemies a hug. People don’t know how to respond to kindness when they’re expecting a back lash.

Okay I kinda fell asleep after that last sentence,and I’m back awake now at 9.30am.

“These people are,moving in one flow,
That’s probably cause,they do what’s told,
The fear of changing ways,the thing’s are done,
Let’s be minority and change the world for once”

-lyrics from Life of Lies.

I’m sure growing up especially during the teenage years is tough because there’s always this flow of to-do list thats been laid out; and there’s no way of getting by it without actually going through it. There’s way too many passed down traditions which we can clearly get by without, but its always that peer pressure which every tom,dick and harry would suffer at some point whether you admit it or not; to actually fit in and for some to top the charts. I’ve done it all way too early,but here’s a thing; I think its important to acquire the ability to do things(whatever it may be) with the right purpose & cause instead of doing it blindly; just because.

Its just as if just because people tend to get married at 27 years of age, it doesn’t mean that getting married before or after that age is bad right? It all depends on personality, financial status, career, and of course if you’re lucky to meet the one. There’s bound to be more conventional ideas as we live on, the only difference is; as we become young adults, we learn the trade & grow.Some people who sort of fail later on in life are the ones who’s stuck within that conventional ideas doing it because everyone else is doing it; without realizing the importance of making decisions for themselves for the right reasons.

I’m striving for normality,for the right cause. Normal is a very strong word on its own. Being normal is a whole new level to its own. We’re born different,striving to be normal is way tougher than you think. You get murderers, porn stars, robbers, transsexuals, hackers and people like such who’re born different who lives up to being different; while the rest of us strive to lead a normal life.My life is tilting slightly to an extremist side because I’m a balance freak who can only prioritize two or perhaps three important aspects of my life. There hasn’t seem to be any room for others, but here’s a thing; I’m happy.

I’m highly attracted to individuals who doesn’t fear being an individual. Simply because I know at the rate of people moving in one flow; they’ll probably be molded into god knows what ten years down the line. Try to find something you love about yourself, then take baby steps into becoming what you want to be. Dreams are powered by passion.

I love you long time readers.

Related posts:

1. EGo Strikes.
2. Holy Shit.
3. My Valentine Favour.

Posted on Sunday, September 12th, 2010 in Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Past, Personal Writing Masterpieces. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.