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Monday November 3, 2008

November 3, 2008


Chasing down the streets of the Kesas Highway,tailing at the back of the S-Class with a driver whom i cannot overtake or speed off; I was caught in the moment for a bit. Thinking daddy oh daddy,will I ever be enough? Even the definition of being enough bugs the crap out of me,i’m sure this never-ending question pops up in the mind of each and everyone of us. Unless you’re some full of yourself-i’m all that perfect human being. My life as a whole was never enough,never quite _____ enough, never been _____ enough and the list of not being ______ enough goes on. I felt beaten,devastated whenever i fail to live up to expectations; i guess that is what happens when you raise the bar too high till it hooks you up and suffocate you.


I wish for a moment in time that somebody,would just grab hold of me and stop me from chasing after the bullet train with bare feet.
Even the grueling process is enough to rip all the confidence out of me. But oh well, I guess faith is all thats needed right now. Have a tad bit of faith,love.

In terms of relationships,i don’t dare say much here because you’d probably assume that it relates back to Alvin; but its not,not exactly. Maybe I have a very different perspective when it comes to love and relationships,a different approach when it comes to loving it and living it at the same time. the insignificant fine line between love and live is usually mixed up; thats how you can never find your way out of the web you weave.

My question is, how do you get out of a web you weave?


I was once just like each and everyone else,love was everything to me.Then came a point when I saw a marriage who nearly fell apart right in front of my eyes, a sudden slap on my face alerting me that its reality check; be a realist girl,grow out of it.
All of a sudden,material meant nothing to me; i’d trade anything to save the marriage i swore. That was a life changing point of my life,having to deal with issues vulnerably and not being to show my vulnerability; i felt pretentious for a well.

I’m a sucker for brutal honesty,because dishonesty further damages any wound. The  n i said, pretentious no more. Its okay to be and feel vulnerable; no ones out there to get a bite of you. I had people like heavensent, rainbowpoopers, hellokitty lovers, ikan bakar freaks, and so many more who has shown me how life can be lived; the other way.

It came to a point where it was the other way,or no way.



Dig it deeper,dig it hard.
Cause you’ll never know what you’ll find at down rock bottom.
My second question would be,

How deep is deep & how shallow is shallow to you?

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2 comments “Monday November 3, 2008”

  1. mskimhoang says:

    the first pic looks great!

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