I can never be mad at you, and I’ve always loved you despite the fact that we’ve never really been together. You’ve always given me assurance over the years, did a million things to make my world a better place; and none of that will ever be forgotten. Its funny how I opened up the page only to find out that you’ve done what you did, and you know very well that it would hurt me. You probably felt neglected and disappointed with my whirlwind of a change over the past couple of months; adjusting and readjusting, it was a walk that I needed to take and that doesn’t change what I have for you. I’m sorry if I hadn’t make the best of the time I had when I was around, my priorities switched; and I had a million things going on.

I can never deny how much I care about you, and you know that very well. Even in the midst of Chinese New Year I did send you a text asking if everything was okay, because I remembered how that time of the year was never a good one. You didn’t show up for my farewell, I didn’t call either; so I guess that’ll be my fault on my end and I’m sorry. You’ve mentioned how you dislike my new take towards life, and how I’ve walked away from everything familiar leaping into a whole new realm of uncertainties. You don’t get how I walk away from everything good which was disastrous on my end; I was falling, falling so hard. Failing too, and nobody gets me like you do; but if you’ve taken it to the next level by concluding the part where I am entirely different now that I’m like the rest that you’ve loved, who does nothing but walk away without a single word then I rest my case.

It was never in my intention to hurt you, or to take you for granted; as the matter in fact you know very well that you’ve never lost me in anyway. It sucks to be so far away, although there’s always an option to pick up the phone to give you a ring; but I doubt you’d want to hear from me again. I miss you, and I think thats all you need to know; perhaps its my fault that I assumed that I’d never ever lose you but I guess its all too late now. You’ve been my best friend taking good care of my everything, despite all the unforeseen circumstances and no words here can ever express my love for you; I just wished that you didn’t pull the plug on me.

We love and walk away by choice.
My previous relationship ended by choice, that was me walking away; but I don’t quite get where did we go wrong? I thought our friendship was built on bricks, or was it just paper thats’ all weaken down due to bad weather? I’m sorry you got caught in my transitional period of breaking away, it was a struggle I had to deal with and you know it. Its 12.15 am right now and I’m sitting here in my room crying over the fact that you’re no longer there; its painful and I think I’m gonna wake up feeling it tomorrow, thats life I guess.

Don’t expect you to do anything about this, but I hope you realize that I’ll always love you even though its from a distance. You can go ahead be upset, pissed over how you’ve concluded that I was no longer worth your time; I honestly don’t recall doing anything at all, perhaps me not doing anything at all was the route of the problem. Sorry I had hell to deal with, sorry for my ignorance, and sorry that we’ve come this far only to realize that we’re so far apart both physically and emotionally.

You have no idea how much you mean to me.
So here’s to everything, coming down to nothing; now you’re halfway out the door.

this is not about Alvin btw.

Related posts:

1. Color on Canvas.
2. Footprints On The Moon.
3. When World’s Collide.

Posted on Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011 in Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Love & Romance, Melbourne, Past, Personal Writing Masterpieces. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.