Guns & Roses.

July 13, 2010

Good day folks. I’m extremely excited about my trip to the Shanghai Expo this coming weekend; especially since I’ve just picked up the new Sony NEX3 courtesy of Advertlets; imagine the amount of photo opportunities & I will be bringing my DSLR along for sure. :) Things have been going on very smoothly aside from my frustrations coming from my dad; and judging from the amount of time I have to sort of self reflect about where do I go from here; I guess I kinda saw some answers through someone else’s eyes.

Speaking about this in a general manner,I’m sure most of you would have set out goals for yourself; for example in my case:

I am struggling to strike the balance between being a blogger & a person altogether. About drawing the lines between being too personal or being too commercial at the same time. Here’s a thing, after a good conversation which I’ve had with an old friend today; I kinda realize that in no matter what you do or pursue, you should never be manipulated into becoming something you’re not or lose the essence that makes you, you. We all strive to be better, to earn more cash, to be more popular or sometimes you just grow popular wtf but what happens when you’ve achieved it?

  • At some point when you’ve hit it; then the question that follows would be to ask yourself, whats next?
  • Would you in anyway get so lured by the fact that thousands read about what you have to say,and you end misusing that some sort of power?
  • And if you did misuse it to fire something personal which end up reflecting one selfish side of yourself to get back at the other, would you wake up to reality knowing that it wasn’t a right thing to do?
  • So where do you draw the line and at what extent do you stop; and should that one particular incident reflect the person that you are, because frankly all it takes to diminish any good thoughts about you is through one word of bad mouth?

After giving it a good thought, I might as well go all the way to set the records straight. I’m really bad with dealing with the ending of a relationships. Thats the one thing that usually screws me over, proven over and over again; from Aaron, Colin and recently Eugene. In some ways to be fair, I think I did contribute a buck load of fire into an existing flame which worsens the situation; but we all know the conventional I tell you what you need to know,and keep the other half (dirty half about myself) to myself situation. All it takes is just one source; you know like a simple message passed on from one ear reaching the 15th ear usually comes off as something else in the end.

Sometimes hearing so much things about yourself can suffocate your thoughts and judgement about the all that has happened; but if I were to look inside and reflect about the love, memories & fun side of it, I guess its all not so bad after all. I’m crazy at times when I’m provoked, its like flipping a switch on and I don’t stop at being a keyboard warrior as quoted by Hanie on her blog. Judging from the amount of blogs & twitter users blooming into the scene, people throwing darts and arrows with fire to one another with words; I couldn’t agree more with the way people are taking advantage of the fact that they have such big balls firing people but in reality, all cowards.

Its funny how things are all hyped up when we’re all merely individuals. I recalled the amount of hidden attacks on twitter & blogs over the years; but then you need to ask yourself; are these people anywhere close to being merely acquaintances who amazingly assume that just because we’re related via twitter/blogs/facebook that sort give you the power to claim “Yeah,I know her.” Oh come on, we’re living in such a different world these days that we’re connected within this network; but all that you know if what you get fed with. Friends, there’s a whole lot meaning more to that.

I may talk about some very personal things even on twitter about where I am, what I feel and yes it may get annoying at times; but I figured friends would probably interpret the things you have to say more accurately. Its stupid, no really when I see people getting so worked up over twitter; how often do you get to see overgrown adults (supposedly) slamming others like an 18 year old when they’re obviously a decade older than that. Whatever happened to going through higher level of education which supposedly teaches you manners & the ability to handle the situation like an adult.

Whatever happened to wisdom that comes with age?

Being famous isn’t always a great thing, you get guns & roses thrown at you at different occasions; but what happens when you’re completely exposed and not being able to do damage control? Do we live preventively protecting the things that mean a lot to you, your actual feelings about your relationships and things like such; what happens when you can’t voice them out anymore? That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling over the recent months; what do you do when you have so many people reading you everyday and not everyone is gifted with a gift to read critically & mindfully. Do you write to gain approval?

If this question were to be thrown at me 1/2 year ago with all that drama going on, I think I would have held back & misfire every once in a while; because I wasn’t sure about my own intentions of saying the things I’ve said. However, I think its time to bring the fire back onto the court; whats the point of being nice in general when all it takes is just the result of broken relationships which apparently justifies the person that you are. Yes it may be ugly, but nothing gets uglier than the truth. The truth which lead me to doing what I did of course. Thats all in the past now anyway,lesson learned; big time.

On another issue related to some twitter newbie who kinda took my tweet too harsh upon himself and went all dramatic over it. You see, the trouble with general tweets about your thoughts like “A leopard never loses its spots”; which is then read by your followers (mine is at 1000+ at the moment) multiply that to the odds of it relating to you and if everyone behaves the way he did getting all mad about that particular tweet assuming I was referring to him; what the fuck is twitter for? That situation went on with him immaturely slamming me and Alvin; despite the fact that we’re friends in real life.

If you can’t handle the online social networking; don’t be a part of it.
To clear the air about that part, he obviously took it way too personally. At least,that showed off his true colors.Twitter drama will always be interesting,but lets just say that sometimes it best to just spread the love & learn to master the art of just aiming to lead a happy life. There will always be a price to pay for being in the public (to a certain extent) and some situations are unavoidable. It all boils down to your conscience and tiny goals in life; sometimes being happy with all that you have is enough.

Honesty will always be the best policy.
Although not many people can handle the truth.

Related posts:

  1. Knock knock & Nobody’s There.
  2. Roses Are Red.
  3. Replacing Anger With Pity: Compassion.

4 comments “Guns & Roses.”

  1. christock says:

    I don’t think I can handle it anymore… Everything is going so wrong for me. Don’t be a part of it? Gonna be difficult but that may be the only solution :(

  2. erin says:

    just be yourself,write anything that you feel like,this is your blog,has being supporting your blog every now and then,keep it up!!!chill girl =))

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