Greetings, I’m feeling really home sick at the moment; so much that it made me cry when I had to receive three roses over Skype, and yes only visually. Its always the thoughts that counts, and there’s always an alternative way when it comes to dealing with flowers right? Classes have finally kicked off, the new semester has begun and I am thrilled to go through the stressful life of an architecture student again. Its not that I can’t live without stress, because that’ll only make me sound like sadistic; lets just say that architecture has a way of making you feel fulfilled and life well lived.

Some may call it a love hate relationship, but that only happens when you have passion for your job. This period also trains your people skills when it comes to working with clients, colleagues, team members but most importantly instilling good working ethics. Daddy’s last word at the airport was; go for the kill. In whatever you pursue, don’t stop at just doing great but push your abilities to its limits. He also added that this is the time that I should rediscover different sides of myself and be the best that I can be in what I do. Its all about stepping out of your comfort zone, an entire different studying environment; since the education system back in Malaysia has the tendency of spoon feeding a tad bit too much.

Its that culture which most of us here would have to breakaway from, and I’m not saying that spoon feeding is bad; just stating that its different when you’re trained to be self driven. You can’t keep waiting for tomorrow to come, you can’t keep waiting for things to fall into place; no greatness will ever come out of that. Till the day you step up and address your weaknesses and strength; you’ll never be able to define your own abilities and find confidence. I realize that I spend all my life adapting all the time, with people and environment that I’ve come to terms that sometimes its all about being yourself. People may move in and out of your life, but don’t let them rob away bits and pieces of you as they leave.

I’ve been doing some thinking about what daddy said; writing down big fat keywords of what I’ve got to strive out for. Confidence, determination, responsible, courage, focused, prioritize and most importantly sleep! Yesterday was the first day spent without my mum, and the homesickness kicked in. My room was so quiet that I can hear my own thoughts; literally, but it wasn’t loneliness that upset me; I just miss the warmth of being home.I was on Skype with mum in the afternoon when she showed me Brownthepom; I called out his name and I could see him turning left and right looking for me. My heart sank; and I miss carrying him in my arms, talking to him about my problems like “Oh Brown, I kinda screwed up my exams today” then he would response by licking his own paw wtf.

I need to make all the hardship of being away well worth it; being away from the people you love, its all for the future. I need to have more self belief and confidence that I have it all with me, I need to have courage because courage is the power to let go of the familiar and I need to prioritize. Its always easier said than done, but do wish me luck.

Fear and courage are brothers.

To be honest, I do fear not being able to be at my best; but I’m still gonna do my best anyways. There’s no time to cry over your fear of not knowing how to get something done; find courage. Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.Last year I prioritized happiness above everything else, but this year; I’m going for the kill. So if you ever read an emo post about me wanting to give up, do remind me of what I wrote today!

Related posts:

1. Grow Up.
2. No Room For Two.
3. Sparkle Through Darkness.

Posted on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011 in Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Melbourne, Past, Personal Writing Masterpieces. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.