There’s often a point in time when I asked myself over & over again repeatedly if I am happy where I am, and certain about where I want to be. Girls who’re often carrying emotional baggages will soon realize that most women are made that way for a reason. Well if you do happen to get to know me in person, I may either appear insanely bubbly and cheerful living up to the whole cheerio name wtf or you’d find a very reserved & I like remaining silent at times; that’s when you really listen.

It’s never easy to be brought up being a spoiled apparent rich brat who spends like there’s no tomorrow, and yet coming out of that skin where it was a huge struggle kicking away all the over the top spending habits. Materialistic is the perfect word, where money comes into play; anything is resolvable. There was this point in time, where I splurged on the LV’s, Gucci’s and you name it at a very young age that it kind of tipped the balance on my value of money. The type of lifestyle where I used to go for a main/pedicure session every week without fail, having 80 pair of shoes before I turned 19 wtf and you do know that I drink Starbucks for free.

Silently I was going through a period of soul searching, a period when I realized that materialism is one hell of a good way to boost up confidence hiding insecurities within your level of comfort zone and most importantly as a status of recognition that you are indeed well off & ka-ching wtf. Truthfully speaking, the wealth isn’t ours to flaunt in the very first place. Confidence speaks for itself, body languages will be able to justify for itself, and we all know that the really loaded ones don’t really enjoy flaunting it because they’d fear portraying themselves as a spoilt rich brat.

Shien Chii & myself.

I never really knew what it felt like to strive for normality and mediocre. What most people try to achieve is often to create a vibe that intimidates others either with the fancy clothes, expensive cars, branded bags and killer shoes; let’s just face the fact that some people just have it, and some just don’t no matter how hard you try. Don’t mean to sound arrogant or anything beyond that line, but based on true experience; the vibe that you create might prevent you from having good friends because they’ll probably shrug off the idea of being anywhere close to a materialistic brat.

Not because they envy you, but there’s never a need to be around show off’s and L.O.A’s.

To my surprise, I started blogging after laying it on a low key wtf and that’s when the readers really picked up and grew over the years. My growing pains as a teenager is what made me a writer of the painful past, and not so much as a media reporter wtf; a life that was well lived and I grew out of my mistakes. Credits to the Keeper for teaching me the values of money, without having doubts in my abilities to change & most importantly loving me for everything that I was being 18, 19, 20 and now 21.

Among the couple of things which I learned most was the importance of achieving a short term goal for yourself and finding that confidence that you’ve conquered your inner fears & insecurities. I have absolutely no problem carrying some torn black Guess? bag around which I had way before my crazy LV, Gucci, Jimmy Choo and Coach days wtf without fearing that people might look at me as a lesser person or a poor chick who can’t afford fancy bags & clothes.

It’s all merely a swipe of a card, away.

I’d rather be appreciated for the person that I am, and not what I own; knowing that there’s nothing to take advantage off me but my sincere friendship. It was a struggle at first to curb my spending habits where everything seemed so tempting, but surprisingly I managed to create a happier and friendlier vibe after wearing less fancy clothes, cheaper bags and plain as jane shoes. It was that inner peace and self confidence which was replaced by the materials which stunted my growth as a wacko teenager; that makes me a fool paying double the damage.

Thats Pavilion Kuala Lumpur!

Model of Penang.

Likewise, rich and fame comes with a price to pay. And the amount of repair costs on all the damage done on your personal life; I doubt you can ever put a figure for that. Some wounds can never be healed, no childhood scars can be erased with money. If there’s anyone in this world that I should thank for the great deal amount of hard work in nurturing this missycheerio once a kiddo, that would be the Keeper.

Happiness is above it all.
If you’re happy and you know it,clap your hands?
Much love,cheerios.

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Related posts:

1. Oh Mama Materialistic!
2. Alvin Lam.
3. A Pardonable Insanity.

Posted on Friday, September 11th, 2009 in Architecture Eats My Life Away, Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Love & Romance, Past, Personal Writing Masterpieces. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.