December 11, 2012
I’ve learned my lesson, never to write when I’m upset. I’m just terribly exhausted and worn out. I’m trying my very best to not fall into a spiral of self-pity, and that I should be strong, to step out of my comfort zone. I would love to share my problems, but it is time to realize that everyone walks with their own burden on their shoulders. It’s not like its the end of the world (or this might change in ten days lol), and there’s more to life than just love and relationships. I know I’m at my worst. I don’t like being in a constant state where lies is all I’ve got. You know how odd it feels to know that you’re this whole other version of yourself, a new ‘version’ created to adapt to the drastic demands of reality. I can’t suppress it anymore.
Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.
Look on the bright side. I’m wide awake at 10am with some noisy construction going on two houses away. I can choose to stay in my room, frown all day or to go downstairs, play with Brownthepom and watch TV. I would love to hit the gym but I think I’m gonna stick to basketball in the evening if the weather decides to be kind to be today. I’ve successfully lost 2kg’s in a week and at the rate I’m going, it’s probably gonna drop even more. New years resolution? Probably to looks super toned, and never to put on weight again. Melbourne is not an excuse, and as much as winter is a total pain in the ass, this challenge is make known. If i’m gonna be alone for the next year, so be it. I’ll just spend all my free time catching up with sleep, working out, or shop. Life is about stepping out of your comfort zone, because that’s when you’ll discover.
Life goes on.
I’m looking forward to being a guest crit at Taylor’s University tomorrow for their students final presentation, and spending some good girlie time with Natasha. Gonna keep myself busy and hopefully this too, will pass. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. I may not be perfect, but I know I have a good heart and I always mean well. Just time to toughen up, and embrace the fall.