MissyCheerio | Love, Music & Architecture. » Past

Flushin’ It Down The Toilet Bowl.

missycheerio — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:31:51 +0000

Oh my god. The moment I came across this quote, I remember reading it over and over again. Tried to register and memorize it since I read it off twitter, but it couldn’t. It was a whole new level of understanding for me. Something that I could never put into words, something so simple yet so complicated.

The first to apologize is the bravest.
The first to forgive is the strongest.
The first to forget is the happiest.

I don’t know how that would affect you but its affecting me so much that I had to put Leon on hold for a bit on Skype. The first to apologize is the bravest. Truthfully speaking, I think I have no problem when it comes to saying sorry for anything if I’m at fault. Its true that sometimes to apologize doesn’t stop at you blurting you words to admit you’re wrong or asking for forgiveness. It is a form of action that shows how brave you are in dealing with reality you’re caught in or simply facing the music. I’m sorry. Its harder when it comes to matters of the heart or for situations which has been haunting you for years. Today, I visited my grandma & grandpa’s memorial in the morning; since Chinese New Year is coming to an end. For days when I was sick at home, I thought about her. A lot. Before I left for Melbourne it was always so difficult to walk pass her room especially since its located right next to my dry kitchen area, but now I actually like being in the room. I never had the chance to say I’m sorry. We didn’t have the best relationship while growing up, I felt really mistreated since I was really young; and having a grandma who lives with you since you’re a todler who despises you existence may hurt a lot. I grew up suppressing those feelings, and just saying nah its okay; i’ll grow out of it. My theory was, she’s my mother mum; we’re a family. We don’t choose our family. Then came a point when her cancer got really bad, and she passed away; saying a final goodbye wasn’t enough. It was traumatizing, and confusing at that point when all the anger I had was all out of love. There’s no way a child can differentiate between love and hard love; especially when she created fights between my parents. I was in the middle of it. I wish I was a little older, or that I could understand it a little better before she passed. When that quote struck me, I realized that the reason why I’m not as apologetic anymore is because the one apology I yearned for over the years was never fulfilled. Yea I did say I’m sorry a million times at the funeral but it was already too late. I’m sorry for being young, but know that beneath all the anger; its love. A year being away from home made no difference when it comes to forgetting.

The first to forgive is the strongest. I’ve got to admit this. I know this might reflect poorly on me, but hey I’m being completely honest here. Once upon a time ago, something really bad happened when I was 16 and I had to just swallow it up and forgive. Then as I grew older,I realized that everyone has their own problems; opening my mind up to other worries and let time do the trick. I’m really bad when it comes to forgiving and I only realize that now. To truly forgive someone is to find peace within yourself. This one person close to me, who’s been stuck in the same problem for two years; sort of amazed me with the ability to just forgive all wrongs and move forward. Its like, the toughest thing to do. You may tell the world you’re strong, but if you can’t forgive and you’re full of revenge; that shows nothing but weakness. At least thats how it works. It takes real strength to forgive someone. I never saw it that way. Instead, I kept seeking for loop holes that this friend of mine was in self denial or just lying right to my face. Turns out, its so very true. I’m sorry to have this out but this is the happiest, strongest and at peace he’s been. Sometimes it scares me how he moves on from his problems, and how I can’t seem to move forward. I used to talk about how much I appreciate honesty, but its only because I know I’m weak when it comes to forgiveness. It takes a lot out of me, and now that this woke me up. I found a missing puzzle piece. You can’t hold on to bad situations or mistakes you’ve made, or stay angry about it. Its self destruction, and it makes you weak. The more you try to hide it, the more it shows. I have someone really inspiring in my life. Someone I really care about who’s so different since the day we met. Its almost as if he’s grown up quicker than I have. To master the art of forgiveness; be it self forgiveness or forgiving someone who made your life a living hell. Cause at the end of the day, what is two years out of the eighty years of your life? I hope this wakes you up, because I’m forgiving you for the wrongs you’ve made and I think the final key to happiness is forgetting. I’m coming clean with how I feel and I honestly feel better forgiving you. Forgiveness is strength.

The first to forget is the happiest. Well, if you can forget the sadness; obviously you’ll be happy in exchange right? Pretty simple theory. I have to refer this situation to that someone in my life again. It really bugs me at times, how he flipped that switch and just flush it down the toilet bowl. I think I’m pretty good when it comes to forgetting though, I suck when it comes to forgiving. I’m not heartless, but it took me about a month to get over my five year long relationship’s breakup. I’m realistic that way. I’ve not been able to be honest with what I write at times because I know there’s no need to expose all these thoughts and having it back firing in the end; especially hearing it from people I care about. I get hurt too, but I try to understand that you can’t expect everyone to get you through my deceiving ways when it comes to things online. I think I’m a whole lot simpler, and random in person. Anyway back to the issue about forgetting. I have to be really frank. What happened last year is no longer fresh on my mind. You know when you shut your eyes and try to remember how you feel at one point in time; I don’t remember that anymore. Maybe thats how I stay happy. And maybe thats why you’re so unhappy. I’m not saying that its a bad thing to keep remembering, sometimes remembering only the good helps. Back to my reference, this friend of mine; he doesn’t recall a damn thing about the things I thought he’d remember. Its like selective memory. We all remember what we want to remember. When something loses it value to you; it fades away with time. Its a cycle of life. I can tell that you’re very unhappy, and its because you can’t forget. I’m so glad this quote popped out of nowhere because it totally slapped a whole lot of sense into me. I need to forgive myself about grandma. Its okay if I didn’t have the chance to say I’m sorry, she’s probably gotten my message. I need to forgive you, and your sins. We’re all victims, to our own web of lies and deception. They say that time waits for no one. Its true.

I hope everyone who reads this post today, would give it a thought. It doesn’t matter which religion you’re raised with, all of it practices good faith and forgiveness. It starts within yourself. You can tell the world how happy you are about your life and how things are moving forward (IM REFERING TO MYSELF LOL SADLY), if you don’t forgive yourself and the ones who’ve wronged you; you’re weak and you’ll never be happy. Focus on the present and the NEAR future. Expect less and give more. Like what I mentioned, the more you try to hide it, the more obvious it gets. Stop living in the past. Stop caving into your shell. You’re growing up not too bad yourself. God has plans and all of this is just a part of it. I feel really good right now. At least I know I need to focus on forgiveness this year and compete in a beauty pageant who am I kidding. Hope you had a good read, and have a great week ahead!

You Said Everything’s Gonna Be Okay

missycheerio — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:16:44 +0000

Last nights fever was bad. Parents camped downstairs with me because I’m now physically too weak to move around, kinda defeats the purpose of working in the gym. I remember waking up at 5am in the morning with my dad sitting up right; asking him if he’s feeling cold or hot. I was shivering before I went to bed, and he was heating up. So the verdict, we were both feeling crazy hot. I have a bad feeling that it might not be a normal stomach infection. Doesn’t feel like its getting any better and everything I eat, gets thrown right out. 2kg in less than 2days. I really hope things will improve, or else I might have to get myself admitted into the hospital because something is clearly wrong. The most frustrating part, there’s not one position that I can lie down comfortably. Either ways my stomach feels like its about to blow up.

Let’s see what happens tomorrow.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun.

missycheerio — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 10:30:44 +0000

I feel horrible. Yesterday was pretty perfect until the horrible fever hit me as well. My youngest brother already had high fever the day before and now its my turn. I’m feeling slightly better today, although having diarrhea is sort of making things worse. Last night was horrible. It felt almost as if I was set on fire, literally; so bad that I couldn’t sleep. I don’t really wanna share this, but I would really want to remember this. I get grumpy when I’m sick, with so much discomfort. The boyfriend just sang to me, song after song; and I actually complained about it being annoying whenever he sang falsetto. I fell asleep in the end and he quietly left, told my parents that he didn’t wanna wake me but I woke up ten minutes later only to realize he’s gone.

I think the thing that scares me post whenever a viral fever attacks is dengue. Once upon a time ago, I ruled out the most obvious symptoms of dengue such as the red spots, bleeding from the nose (because I had a basketball injury), pain on the joints(which I ruled out as muscle aches from over exercising) and I admitted one week late. The scariest part about dengue is how it creates some kind of a shock to your system causing low levels of blood platelets and blood plasma leakage, or into dengue shock syndrome, where dangerously low blood pressure. An average person’s count ranges from 150,000 to 450,000 per microliter of blood and mine already dropped to 25,000. Blood fails to clog and I went straight into ICU. The suckiest part about dengue shock syndrome is the post dengue trauma, which caused me to lose 50% amount of my hair within two months; and try dragging off chunks of hair. It was traumatizing. I think I lost a good 8kg in a week. (can’t complain about that LOL)

The thing I was worried about most would be how weak your immune system get, and it gets way more dangerous it if reoccurs. Dengue fever can be caused by any one of four types of dengue virus: DEN-1, DEN-2, DEN-3, and DEN-4. A person can be infected by at least two, if not all four types at different times during a life span, but only once by the same type. I’m not sure which was mine but it sounds like both.

Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever (DHF)
The dengue hemorrhagic fever is the fatal dengue fever type. It leads to complications in the vascular system. These complications cause excessive bleeding from various parts of the body. Symptoms of DHF are as follows -

Fever of about 105°F
Bleeding from the nose, gums, in vomit, blood in stools, bleeding spots on skin causing bluish black spots
Positive tourniquet test
Acute joint pain
Nausea and vomiting
Rash on chest and limbs
Blood vessels and lymphatic vessels malfunctioning

☛ Dengue Shock Fever
The dengue shock fever is commonly seen in children and teenagers. It is one of the most fatal types of dengue fever. The symptoms include -

High fever up to 104 to 105°F
Pain behind the eyes
Severe headache
Severe joint pain
Nausea and vomiting
Patient appears very restless
Skin is clammy and cold, even in case of high fever
Patient loses consciousness
Internal bleeding from blood vessels
Low blood pressure leading to shock

The one thing I don’t miss about Malaysia, the amount of diseases and mosquito bites. Just to clear the air, I’ve gone to the doctor and its not dengue. I’m having some serious stomach intestine infection causing my fever and diarrhea. I feel so weak and I can’t taste a thing. I can’t sit up right or lie side ways because it’ll cause way too much pain on my stomach area. I swear it feels as if every drop of food that gets thrown in gets blasted causing a volcano eruption. My dad and brother is having fever as well, but seems like we’re all slowly recovering. I blame it on the food. Shouldn’t have gone overboard with all the spicy food. The boyfriend has been nursing me at home, just holding my hands and watching me sleep through the pain. Mum is too busy looking after the other two sick people. I hope I get well soon just in time for next week.

I love the month of February. Minus the part where I got sick. The boyfriend’s birthday, dad’s birthday a couple days later and Valentines Day. I like romantic dates and romantic people. I’m buying my family a 11course Thai dinner (which was supposedly meant for 10people but we’ve only 6!) and ordered an ice cream cake because he loves ice-cream. Hopefully that will cheer him up and make up for all the loss time rushing around last year during this point of time. I might be signing on a contract for my blog again this year, and its a promising five figure paycheque which will all go to my savings. I think I’ve had too much fun last year and I feel a little different about spending this time around. Maybe the boyfriend’s thriftiness has rubbed off on me or maybe I’m just saving up for bigger things.

I’m just in a better state of mind. Less clouded and sometimes instead of focusing on the bad; try driving your attention to the things that matter most to you. I like making people happy. That is something I’m gonna strive to do even more this year. Its like waking up one morning realizing how easy and beautiful life can be when you find a purpose and that doesn’t always have to revolve around your own happiness. Try this out, give it a deep thought; maybe you’ll eventually feel better about yourself. Monica read the lines on my palms, my biggest problem in life; I don’t know selfishness. If I was a little more selfish, life would have been a little easier but I’m not. Okie dokie, gonna run off to help mum out with dinner. Hope you stay alert about the danger of dengue!

Cuddle On The Floor.

missycheerio — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:30:27 +0000

Thumbs up on this post if you think I should keep up with my Tumblr postings. I’m counting on you

We’ll Grow Old Together.

missycheerio — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:39:31 +0000

Greetings. Last night was a blast. Spent some good quality time with the best friend on a movie date, its been a long while since I’ve watched a movie in the absence of the boyfriend. Viral Factor was pretty darn impressive considering how it was filmed across continents covering Beijing, Jordan and obviously Kuala Lumpur. Seeing Jay Chou in the hallway of Chia Wen’s classroom in IMU was hilarious. You should have seen the look on Chia Wen’s place and how she went omg,omg,omg repeatedly. The movie had pretty good action scenes(surpassed expectations), a strong story line, and the adrenaline rush was crazy!

Just a quick update, I’m taking a weekend off from gym to catch up with sleep and I’m really excited for my CNY Open House tonight. We’re expecting about 130 guests, so I have no idea what to expect but the food tonight shouldn’t be disappointing. I’m starting to appreciate my privacy so do forgive me if you’re seeing less photos and more wordy posts in months down the road. Sometimes being too caught up with the whole online social media can cause unnecessary stress and it makes you think too much. I enjoy blogging in tumblr, which only the boyfriend knows about; and sometimes privacy is priceless. I hope people are aware about the consequences of sharing too much information online. I’m keeping it private now. No really, I am.

Sharing thoughts in general is pretty harmless in my opinion. I’m trying to change my ways. I don’t want to pour my feelings here because they tend to blow out of proportion, and perhaps its just me growing up. I don’t emote as much anymore. I don’t feel so much or react to situations like how I used to. All I care about when I wake up in the morning is what to eat and work out for today, and spending good quality time at home. Life is never boring on my end. I actually love my freedom, but I try not to abuse it. Freedom can come in many different ways. The freedom to myself and so much more. Maybe I’m just taking a good break from all the unwanted attention, maybe I’m just really moving on from last year.

I do wonder what caused the huge change. Maybe its just a phase where I realize how protective I’ve been over my life that now I’m just learning how to let go. As you grow up, the one art which most people fail to cope with age; is the art of letting go. Whether its the art of letting go of the past, the familiar, a family member, death or love. We fill our lives with so much memories and expectations that we forget the part where life doesn’t always go your way. I’ve accepted the beauty of changes and uncertainties. I’m pushing my boundaries and taking new risks. Playing it on the safe side makes you boring. I feel different now, compared to a month ago.

I blame it on the weight loss and new blog.

I had this really interesting conversation with Monica the other night, something about palm reading. She’s picked up quite a number of things, and I think that gave me a whole new picture about how I might have been too negative about all the bad situations. Look at things on the bright side, it was all a blessing in disguise. I was told that I would be very successful and wealthy; and have good relationships. One thing which surprised me most, that family is the most important thing to me. My biggest problem, I tend to complicate situations by over thinking. Which is precisely why I’m learning to accept that weakness and worry less. Staying away from negative people helps, a lot. Its easy to spot negative people, the moment they open their mouth; they’ll jump at anything negative. Give it a try.

Monica told me one thing that sort of woke me up. I’m very strong in character and I don’t quit. I should learn to look at how blessed I am, instead on focusing on things that don’t matter. My focus this year is on good health, great body, building up my career and reputation, and chill the fuck out. I’ve been doing it for a week and it feels wonderful. I’m planning something big over the next two weeks, so I should be busy. Will try to update when I can, till then.

Gong Xi Fa Cai. Its the 7th day of CNY, apparently its everyone’s birthday today.

Your Name On My Lips.

missycheerio — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 04:52:33 +0000

Greetings. Just realized that I’ve been away for more than a week now. I hope this festive season has been awesome for all of you, because its been nothing short of amazing for me. I love Chinese New Year celebrations, partly because its the only time of the year where I get to be in a house of nearly 60 relatives living together for a couple of days. The food, the gambling sessions, the morning runs, and all the catching up was something I’ve been looking forward to since I got home. I love my family reunions, I like how simple it is. To top that, something has gone terribly wrong with my iPhone so I’ve successfully lived without a mobile phone for about a week now. Thank goodness for the iPad, and the new iMessage.

I think its an achievement. A personal achievement that is. To be so wired up by communication and just be completely out of it for an entire week just being around my family is a total bonus. I’m sure we all love ang pows. Apparently its not a good year to gamble for me, so I’ve been losing quite a bit in my poker sessions; although I think I’ve improved quite a bit with my poker face. I have a permanently smile smack on my face all through out the game. Its funny because I think I tend to react quite a bit especially when I hit the flop. Oh well, its all for the fun of the game.

This is 1/3.

I have a really cool aunt who cooks for a huge volume of up to 60 people at once. And she does it for every single meal! Madness.

Everyone, meet Lilo the cute pug and Monica.

Before my iPhone crashed

Anyway, long weekend ahead. This is probably my first Chinese New Year celebration which I’ve lost weight without exercising or dieting. I have no idea why, how or what is wrong; but yeah I’m pretty happy about it. Hit the gym yesterday, with my usual cardio weights circuit set and body pump class back to back. Woke up feeling like my limbs are falling apart, and I think I’m gonna try to go out for a run in the evening. I’ve lost the urge to lose weight, and my focus now is more on getting really toned. I’m yet to reach my 10kg target, but I’m halfway there!

Next up, an advertorial for La Senza. Do note that this is not an advertorial, but the bra is really really comfortable. I don’t really fancy bras with padding and no I don’t do push-up bras because it will only make my boobs look obscene. I know how most people are not that particular when it comes to design and fitting. You might not be cool with the idea of splurging on a undergarments or lingerie. I think that its these things that count the most though. It makes you feel sexy, and if you have it flaunt it! And you don’t lose your boobies through exercising or weight loss. Instead, I think it gets more accentuated, so start hitting the gym to get that killer body!

What happens when you fulfill none of the above?

It truly defines who you are.

When a picture is worth a thousand words.

It allows you to relive moments.

In the cold winter.

The hour long kisses.

When you wake up three in the morning feeling hungry.

Have a great weekend. Lots of love!

Beds and Weddings.

missycheerio — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:45:53 +0000

Greetings. I’ve been busy shopping my hearts out for CNY but I know I can’t bring them all back to Melbourne with me. My luggage is definitely gonna go overweight this time, so I might have to ship some stuff over. I’m in love with my tumblr blog. I wish I could share it, but maybe someday I’ll make a nice scrap book out of it. Anyway, I’ve finally received my offer letter for Masters; so thats a huge relief. Watched a couple of movies, gave away twenty five pair of shoes in one day; out with the old, in with the new! It feels great to give your stuffs away instead of selling them.

I’m really sorry that I haven’t been updating as much as I used to, I’m rarely on my computer when I’m back home. It hasn’t been easy having a couple of nights spent having serious talks with my dad (even the sound the of it scares me!) about my future and what happens after graduating. Sometimes its a little hard to just bring it up, telling him what I think is ideal for me knowing he has a whole different set of ideas for me. I don’t know if other kids go through the same thing, but serious talks with parents will always be tough thing to do.

Well, I’ve made my decision and its good that they’re finally supporting it. No more uncertainties about what I should be doing, and to be very frank, I’m actually really excited about this year. Moving to this new place called Uropa, and thankfully this time I have an awesome housemate who’s moved all my stuff over from the old place. I get to furnish it on my own this time. I’m looking forward to really get my place done up as comfy as possible, and the top of my to-do list. Get a nice bed where I can roll around in.

I definitely can’t fit this in my room, but I love how spacious it feels.

I’m sure some people would find this attractive, but I’d rather have something grounded. WHAT HAPPENS IF IT SNAPS

This feels like a bedroom in a bathroom.

I don’t think I can ever sleep it this without feeling like this bed belongs to my dog. Covering the edges may spark a feeling of security where you may roll roll roll and not roll of. Like a coffin.

Okay, I found my dream bed, as of 2012. I’m gonna share a couple of photos I grabbed from my tumblr blog shared with you know who. Anyway have you ever wondered how your wedding would be like? Well I’ve reached half my goal of losing 10kg’s so far, so I’m pretty pumped. Not bad for four weeks of working out, and its a nice feeling to kick off 2012. I’m channeling all my focus onto all the little little things in life. Like every little thing I put in my mouth, I’ve become very vain when it comes to my face and biggest tip, drinks lots of water to keep your skin hydrated all the time. I haven’t been out with a hint of make up for three weeks now, and my skin feels wonderful.

Anyway back to the wedding ideas.

Love love love this.

I don’t believe in having too much contrast in colors. Stick with white.

Love this shoes.

This dress is breath-taking. Something that would definitely stand the test of time.

Bella’s wedding gown! The dress, designed for the film by Carolina Herrera, is available for $999.
If you need to complete the outfit, never fear! You can purchase Bella’s Manolo Blahnik shoes, called the Swan Embellished Satin Pump, for a measley $1,295.

Weddings should never be rushed. You should never get married for the sake of being married. I think my views on marriages have changed pretty drastically. A good change that is. I had this heart to heart chat with one of my best friend last night at my place and just realized how time has passed us by. I think last year was a considerably bad year for me, but I made it worse by falling into a cycle of self-pity. Promised her that I’ll take every bad situation as a blessing in disguise from now on. Life may suck, but you can always choose to see the brighter side of things.

Alrighty, catch you guys soon!

Sucks To Be You.

missycheerio — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:00:15 +0000

I wish I knew about it earlier, that it was a total case of rebound.
I wish the word rebound came up a little earlier.
I feel flattered. My ego is up, up here we go. Okay hold on a sec. My point is, I shouldn’t have assumed too much.
Now I’m like, maybe it was the best thing that has ever happened. Some sort of a blessing in disguise.

I honestly think the whole idea of using anyone as a rebound is a horrible thing to do. I’ve had a fair share of issues with rebounds, and I’m pretty proud of myself that I’ve learned how to not jump into something to ease the pain from the one you love. I’ve done some crazy things to get over something, and manipulating someone else’s feelings is a terrible and selfish thing to do. I’ve never been in a rebound relationship before,but I can imagine how horrible it would feel to be mislead and used. To always feel out of place, and caught in a chase; so bad that even when they’re standing right next to you, you know the heart belongs to someone else.

Trust your guts. I think the most ideal rebound would be an ex who willingly throws themselves at you. Its like, well I’m heartbroken and I need someone; whatever comes free of charge (FOC) and please call me (PCM). You’re at the top of your game, in a win-win situation; when desperation calls. You need someone to take your mind of things, you need someone to break your usual routine, you need a replacement, you need a sponge to absorb, and you just need someone to help you move on. Usually, rebound works. They do a great job in helping you live in denial for a long while, and before you know it you’ll be over the break up. On a contrary, rebound has its pros as well; if you can’t get over your ex no matter how far you run and hide, when she walks away you’ll come running back knowing you’ve lost the one thing that means the world to you.

Nobody can ever walk away from the ones they truly love.
You can try and run as far as you can, but nah it’ll never work.
Rebounds sort of answers all your troubles and works as a panadol; a temporary relief of whatever pain. My only advice, treat others how you want to be treated. Its heartbreaking to feel rejected and defeated.To feel like you’ve finally gain your pride and you lose it the next minute when they wake up realizing you’re someone they can totally live without. Nobody likes feeling like a trash. Like a toy.

What is a rebound relationship?

A relationship usually short in duration and used to help mend the broken heart.’ In other words, it can be called a bounce back relationship or a relationship formed too quickly after the breakup of a significant love relationship. Many times people involved in relationships also get into rebound relationships if they want their existing relationships to end especially when they have already emotionally distanced themselves from their partners. A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone. It can be a a lot more fun that dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart. ”

This is the biggest problem in a rebound relationship. Usually someone ends up being used and hurt as a result. If you are in a relationship to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces.

Signs of identifying a Rebound Relationship.

Getting into a Relationship too fast: This is the most common sign of a rebound relationship. It may act as a distraction or a form of catharsis, but remember not to allow your sense of urgency to rush in the wrong direction causing further heart break.
Expecting the Qualities of Ex : You spend most of your time talking about your ex without realizing. Another common sign is expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner or expect him to have the qualities and traits you admired in your previous lover. It is also a normal tendency among many to draw comparisons between your current and ex and talk openly about it. This type of behavior can make a person to be too demanding and ruin the new relationship too and end up being miserable.
Using Others as Rebound for self satisfaction or as a Tool Of Jealousy: Many people get into a rebound mode with the intention of hurting their ex or to show that they do not matter anymore without any intention of commitment or involvement and masking the purpose with the new person involved. It can be either way and usually someone ends up being used or hurt as a result because once the purpose of the rebound relationship is served that person would be abandoned. Beware of re bounders who may use you distract themselves from the pain of a broken heart and then move on leaving you to pick up the pieces. It is always best to be honest with your new relationship partner about your intentions. If you find yourself being used by a re bounder who has recently broken off a long term relationship it is best to let the relationship develop slowly and not allow your new partner to set the pace fast.
Unhappiness: Many times people who get into rebound relationships as a way to hit back at those who abandoned them. They may show themselves as outwardly happy when actually they feel miserable and guilty that they are doing something wrong. If you are in a relationship to soon and unhappy with the present partner then it is probably a rebound fling you are into.
Not able to forget Ex: This is another prominent sign that though you may have jumped into a new relationship soon after your breakup or divorce you keep thinking of your ex more than your current partner because you have not fallen out of love with your ex still. One may also not feel the same or better comfort level with the new partner because of this and may end up drawing comparisons between partner’s thereby ruining the new relationship with your own hands. If the old relationship interferes with the progress of a new relationship then chances are that you’re stuck in a rebound. Similarly, if you are involved with someone who had a recent break up and he/she keeps rehashing problems from the past relationship within the new relationship this is a clear sign that they haven’t moved on enough to fall in love again. It also could be a sign of rebound affair if you prefer frequenting places you have gone with your ex along with your new partner. As long as you harbor feelings for an old love a new love can’t happen. According to Feng Shui you have to make way for the new by clearing the old.

Had a really good session at the gym today. Its gonna be a pretty hectic week ahead, more intense gym sessions, made my facial and mani/pedi appointments just in time before CNY, accepting my first advertorial with La Senza with free goodies(I’ve no idea what’s new in store!) and to be honest I’m not too sure how ready I am to be back in media events. We shall see what happens. Till then, stay happy folks!

Facebook and Relationships.

missycheerio — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:38:54 +0000

Relationship status.
Social media.

It was a really good movie in my opinion. I think it highlighted a couple of things I’d like to talk about today. Do you ever wonder how different it would be being in a relationship back in those days when the internet was irrelevant and our lives were not as exposed? Would trust, loyalty and honesty be an easier thing to fulfill if there was no temptation for things to go wrong? I don’t think its fair to put all the blame on how the world is driven by the social media, we’re after all human beings; we’re got the brains to make the right decisions. I had a really good chat today about how different a relationship would be without it.

You see, I would imagine women freaking out if their partners were to possess a photo of an ex-girlfriend or even of another woman while being in a relationship. Having access to that sort of information reflects the intention and accessibility is probably one of the key reasons why women would probably feel more insecure these days. The last thing we would want is to have our boyfriends checking out other hot girls flashing boobs all over Facebook (but given how its so common these days,they’re probably sick of it LOL) but was that all necessary to begin with? I think it all boils down to a personal level on our individual self confidence. Its a choice on whether to feel insecure or to find it completely oblivious. It may or may not add additional pressure on relationships, depending on who it is. You can say that you’re not affected at all, but there will be just one occasion where it’d make you go; man I hate how public life has become.

There was a scene in the movie where she wanted to post about how she thinks her boyfriend is about to leave her for someone else; but instead she wrote; i have a bad feeling about this. There will always be a constant debate deep within ourselves if sharing it would make us feel better or otherwise. You seek comfort through harmless attention from friends, but sometimes you’re inviting unnecessary bad attention as well. I’ve got to admit that I’ve given up my privacy to a certain extent. The things you do when you’re most vulnerable as a teenager. You write and share things that you wish you’ve never shared. You can’t turn the clock around and take it all back just because you’re a different person now. Friendships and relationships are built on a whole new different platform these days. Nobody gets to know anybody from ground zero. So how is that normal?

It will never be normal. I have a love hate relationship with my public life online and I’ve accepted the downsides to it. One thing I’ve hold on to very firmly, this is my space. And I’ve tried my very best to be as honest as possible, even if it means giving a wrong impression to people who don’t know me. Its as easy as A-B-C to judge someone based on what you read, and its inevitable. I’ve personally witnessed my own downfall when I had a breakup and it was so hard to hold it all in. I can’t put it all down without hurting anyone, and there you have it; the very purpose of having a personal blog was gone. I try not to let it get to my head that there are thousands following, and just narrow it down to a couple of people reading this. People from different generations are in this scary platform of self expression. People from different backgrounds, different values and different upbringings. One thing they have in common, the keyboard and monitor screen.

Do couples communicate the same way as the good old ways of just talking face to face? Would this platform of self expression provoke the situation with people posting updates be it photos, videos or status updates to hurt one another? Sometimes I call this the faceless enemy. It creates an enemy out of ourselves by creating a form of time capsule that speeds up or slows down communication. By posting up something angry or provocative, you get instantaneous attention and sometimes people misuse it to avoid direct confrontation. Childishness may not be the accurate term for this, I’m thinking self-denial. We’re in denial of our actual reality.

You’re upset about something and you’d rather let it come off as something else. You’re happy but you’re too afraid to show it fearing that it’d jeopardize the good. People; even like myself don’t realize how everything you put up online will comeback to bite you on your bum in the future. Facebook tearing down its wall replacing it with the new timeline feature is gonna bring stalking to a whole new level. I’m cool with it, but I know that there will be lots of people disliking how they’ve given up their key to privacy without being aware of the rapid growth of the internet. We started off with Myspace, losers for Friendster and Facebook making its way close to perfection to self destruction.

I’m speaking from personal experience. I can’t have a normal relationship without having people checking up on me and that’s okay. I’m completely aware of what I put up here online, and I’ve not lost my purpose. Its still a place I call home, and to be frank; you can’t expect everyone to love who you are. It makes life interesting, and that’s me embracing individual differences. Question is, are you aware of the consequences of what you share online? Let me caution you, there’s nothing I can’t track down online if I wanted to. This works the same for everyone else. Its tempting and it feels good to get attention, but is it worth it?

To me, social media feeds off attention. Everyone is seeking for some sort of attention and that’s how it works. It keeps us going at times be it on a personal or on a global level. People post about vacations, weddings or even night outs for attention and it’s always hot-wired in the current society. So it’s not fair to write off anyone for that matter unless you’re not in any of it. It’s like being the biggest hypocrite. We only have one reality. I nearly got sucked into having a delusional world of my own; a second reality for self comfort. Sometimes its tough being a teenager, especially when you have a gazillion amount of information just a click away. Who’s to blame?

Internet promotes superficiality, hypocrisy and judgmentalness.
We’re not ready for it. I thought I was, but turns out I’m not.
I’m here for a good cause. I told Leon that its time for me to grow up and embrace what I’ve become. I’m not that great, and I have so much to work on as an individual. I can assure you this, fame and attention has its consequences. You don’t need to be a celebrity to get a taste of unforeseen circumstances shot through a sniper from a long distance. So be careful with what you wish for.

I’m pulling my plug cause it’s not just a flip of switch; it can consume you.

Negative or Difficult People.

missycheerio — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:18:10 +0000

Its not some boring wordy crap.

Good day readers. I’ve got a new hair cut. Still trying to get used to it, and hopefully it will grow out to look a little more subtle. Had a road trip to Malacca yesterday to hunt for good old authentic Malaysian food. Never knew it was only an hour away, and I nearly called the trip off due to the weather forecast which predicted thunderstorm all the way till Monday. Told myself not to let fear get in the way and just went ahead with it. If it rains, so be it; I’ll just dance in the rain and get soaked. It was a good call, the sun was shining oh so bright all the way till late afternoon. So yay, great weather and awesome food.The best tip to ensure you get a taste of everything without putting on tonnes of weight; share everything!

Apart from the road trip, I’ve been spending some good quality time at home just helping mum out with house chores, a three-hour long karaoke jamming session, family dinner and obviously romantic dates. Putting my personal relationship to private mode is probably the best move I should have made a long, long time ago. I’m guilty for spending on this really simple, black and white, type-writer sorta font, on my personal blog shared with you know who. I love my privacy now, and I really doubt anyone can find it. Its like having a love journal from me to you sorta thing, and one day I might just print it out into a short book. Who knows? Its way too cheesy and too much info to be put up on my public blog.

Love a person for what he is, not what you think you can make him to be.
Came across this quote, and its stuck on to my head. I think its true that sometimes when we have so much love for that one person, whether you’re a boyfriend/girlfriend/parent; you get so fixated on your ideal version of how you envision them to be. A little taller, a little smarter, a little sharper, a little cuter or whatsoever. Take me as an example, I think my dad has a pretty high expectation. I know I’ll never be good enough even if I came close to his ‘ideal’ version of a daughter. I try not to get upset because parents will always want the best for us and bringing out the best would be their ultimate goal.

Try not to blame them for wanting it all. Although sometimes they may sound unreasonable, a little way over their heads, and stubborn; I’m sure they mean well. I’ll never want to change a thing about my parents despite how they try to dictate my life. I will always be grateful to have learned the value of modesty and simplicity. I love how my mum talks about kindness. How kindness will always find its way back to you. I love how they’ve set an example to never get too carried away by materiality and the shallowness of the current society. Most importantly, they’ve shown me the look of happiness. Many people go through life pretending that they are happy with the way their life is. This is because they’re afraid to admit the things in their lives that make them unhappy. A lot of people just want everything and something doesn’t go their way, its the end of the world. I think a lot of it has to do with being selfish, or sometimes, maybe they’re just searching for something to compensate the feeling of unhappiness.

You can’t fake happiness.

10 Ways to Deal with Negative or Difficult People

1. Resist the urge to judge or assume.

It’s hard to offer someone compassion when you assume you have them pegged. He’s a jerk. She’s a malcontent. He’s an–insert other choice noun. Even if it seems unlikely someone will wake up one day and act differently we have to remember it is possible.
When you think negative thoughts, it comes out in your body language. Someone prone to negativity may feel all too tempted to mirror that. Try coming at them with the positive mindset you wish they had. Expect the best in them. You never know when you might be pleasantly surprised.

2. Dig deeper, but stay out of the hole.

It’s always easier to offer someone compassion if you try to understand where they’re coming from. But that can’t completely justify bad behavior. If you show negative people you support their choice to behave badly, you give them no real incentive to make a change (which they may actually want deep down).
It may help to repeat this in your head when you deal with them: “I understand your pain. But I’m most helpful if I don’t feed into it.” This might help you approach them with both kindness and firmness so they don’t bring you down with them.

3. Maintain a positive boundary.

Some people might tell you to visualize a bright white light around you to maintain a positive space when other people enter it with negativity. This doesn’t actually work for me because I respond better to ideas in words than visualizations. So I tell myself this, “I can only control the positive space I create around myself.”
Then when I interact with this person, I try to do two things, in this order of importance:
Protect the positive space around me. When their negativity is too strong to protect it, I need to walk away.Help them feel more positive, not act more positive–which is more likely to create the desired result.

4. Disarm their negativity, even if just for now.

This goes back to the ideas I mentioned above. I know my depressed friend will rant about life’s injustices as long as I let her. Part of me feels tempted to play amateur psychiatrist–get her talking, and then try to help her re-frame situations into a more positive light.
Then I remind myself I can’t change her whole way of being in one phone call. She has to want that. I also can’t listen for hours on end, as I’ve done in the past. But I can listen compassionately for a short while and then help her focus on something positive right now, in this moment. I can ask about her upcoming birthday. I can remind her it’s a beautiful day for a walk. Don’t try to solve or fix them. Just aim to help them now.

5. Temper your emotional response.

Negative people often gravitate toward others who react strongly–people who easily offer compassionate or get outraged, or offended. I suspect this gives them a little light in the darkness of their inner world–a sense that they’re not floating alone in their own anger or sadness.
People remember and learn from what you do more than what you say. If you feed into the situation with emotions, you’ll teach them they can depend on you for a reaction. It’s tough not to react because we’re human, but it’s worth practicing.
Once you’ve offered a compassionate ear for as long as you can, respond as calmly as possible with a simple line of fact. If you’re dealing with a rude or angry person, you may want to change the subject to something unrelated: “Dancing with the Stars is on tonight. Planning to watch it?”

6. Question what you’re getting out of it.

Like I mentioned above, we often get something out of relationships with negative people. Get real honest with yourself: have you fallen into a caretaker role because it makes you feel needed? Have you maintained the relationship so you can gossip about this person in a holier-than-thou way with others? Do you have some sort of stake in keeping the things the way they are?
Questioning yourself helps you change the way you respond–which is really all you can control. You can’t make someone think, feel, or act differently. You can be as kind as possible or as combative as possible, and still not change reality for someone else. All you can control is what you think and do–and then do your best to help them without hurting yourself.

7. Remember the numbers.

Research shows that people with negative attitudes have significantly higher rates of stress and disease. Someone’s mental state plays a huge role in their physical health. If someone’s making life difficult for people around them, you can be sure they’re doing worse for themselves.
What a sad reality. That someone has so much pain inside them they have to act out just to feel some sense of relief–even if that relief comes from getting a rise out of people. When you remember how much a difficult person is suffering, it’s easier to stay focused on minimizing negativity, as opposed to defending yourself.

8. Don’t take it personally–but know sometimes it is personal.

Conventional wisdom suggests that you should never take things personally when you deal with a negative person. I think it’s a little more complicated than that. You can’t write off everything someone says about you just because the person is insensitive or tactless. Even an abrasive person may have a valid point. Try to weigh their comments with a willingness to learn.
Accept that you don’t deserve the excessive emotions in someone’s tone, but weigh their ideas with a willingness to learn. Some of the most useful lessons I’ve learned came from people I wished weren’t right.

9. Act instead of just reacting.

Oftentimes we wait until someone gets angry or depressed before we try to buoy their spirits. If you know someone who seems to deal with difficult thoughts or feelings often (as demonstrated in their behavior) don’t wait for a situation to help them create positive feelings.
Give them a compliment for something they did well. Remind them of a moment when they were happy–as in “Remember when you scored that touchdown during the company picnic? That was awesome!” You’re more apt to want to boost them up when they haven’t brought you down. This may help mitigate that later, and also give them a little relief from their pain.

10. Maintain the right relationship based on reality as it is.

With my friend, I’m always wishing she could be more positive. I consistently put myself in situations where I feel bad because I want to help, because I want her to be happy. I’ve recently realized the best I can do is accept her as she is, let her know I believe in her ability to be happy, and then give her space to make the choice.
That means gently bringing our conversation to a close after I’ve made an effort to help. Or cutting short a night out if I’ve done all I can and it’s draining me. Hopefully she’ll want to change some day. Until then, all I can do is love her, while loving myself enough to take care of my needs. Which often means putting them first. – source

One word, always be positive.