MissyCheerio | Love, Music & Architecture. » Brownthepom

My Love, My Life.

missycheerio — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 07:28:53 +0000

Merry Christmas everyone. Its my rest day from gym,spent the morning with Brownthepom and had fun with the new karaoke system at home. It had tracks from Price Tag, to Wish You Were Here and it was a touch-screen computerized system. Sang a couple of Taylor Swift ballads; and now I’m getting ready to head over to the mister’s. Anyway, here’s a video I shot earlier today.

What do you think about the song choice?
Have a great weekend, hohoho!

Baby I’m Going Nowhere.

missycheerio — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 15:43:37 +0000

My family arrived safely on Sunday. I’m a happy child and I think being around my loved ones made everything seem perfect. I think my dad looks at me in a whole new light now. Leon said he could tell that he thinks I’ve grown up and being abroad on my own has served me well. I took them back to the hotel late last night in the cold pouring rain. Dad was worried about my safety but I assured him that I’ll be okay. Can’t blame him for being overly cautious, but deep down inside I know he is happy.

We were at Phillip Island yesterday, and my little brother left his backpack at the cafe. Dad looked really upset, just sad but he wasn’t angry. I knew that he didn’t want to ruin the holiday and if this was a year ago; he would have flipped. I don’t know what changed but I wanted to look after my family so badly. Just asked my dad; are you sad daddy? Don’t worry, I have this situation under control and I’ll make sure you get it back before we leave this weekend. To be honest, I had no clue about what to do.

Then my Leon-ness kicked in. The ever so resourceful and calm boyfriend’s attribute might have really rubbed off on me. I’ve never been this calm under such a chaotic situation. I don’t know if you ever feel like you’re one with your other half; but I honestly felt like he was with me the whole time. Leon’s usual reminders; his words, there’s no need to panic love. I’m just happy, to know that my parents had the look on their faces that I’ve grown up.

As soon as I got home last night, being cold in the rain; it was almost 1am I think. The boyfriend waited out in the rain at my apartment and we rehearsed for our gig earlier tonight till 2am before crashing. We had some really good family time together today, touring around the city and shopped at DFO. What are the odds of both parents running into each other in the mall right? Leon got a shock when his mum tapped him on the back while hanging out with dad; asking what are you doing here? LOL.

Great shot Leon. I nearly got carried away by the balloons. That’s my youngest brother; Wen Yang.

You know what’s funny? We spoke about it the night before about having a formal meeting session but that’d be a little formal and weird. Oh well, I think Leon handled it pretty well while I was stuck at the cashier. I’ve never seen my parents this comfortable with anyone else I’ve dated to an extent where they’re so open about stayovers etc. Apparently it’s a known fact that Leon takes really good care of me; but nobody ever mentioned that i do too.

I care a lot what my parents think. It’s just nice to see them bonding so well, and sometimes I wish it was easier on my end. Graduation ceremony up this coming Thursday, and my loved ones will be around. We often take our parents for granted while growing up as a teenage trying to path your own way of doing things, that sometimes you lose sight of their true intentions. I know one thing for sure, parents will always have their children’s best interest. Family upbringing shapes who you are as a person.

I’m sitting across the room while watching the boyfriend dismantling my furniture. I know it may sound corny but I think the most attractive part about men is how they much they care about their family. Without family values, they’re built out of nothing. To be honest, Im actually happy that some serious shit happened this year. It woke me up to so many things, and they say that you don’t know how much you love till you lose it.

Nothing can ever come between.You can run and hide, find a temporary shelter, but you can’t deny how you truly feel. The heart never lies and the mind is a dangerous playground. Face your own demons, and the feeling of conquering it is indescribable. Okay I’m still staring at Leon while typing this, if you’re reading this later; know that you néed to stop watching over me like a baby. Nothing is ever gonna take me away so you have nothing to worry about.

My last week went a little like this.

Earlier tonight.

I’m off to bed now. Long day tomorrow.
This week has been unbelievably fantastic. Looking forward to our gig this Sunday night back in Malaysia. Hopefully we’ll pull off a smooth show; we’ll be closing the alumni dinner.

Gonna enjoy the week ahead, make sure you do too!

Why You’re Not Married.

missycheerio — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 04:15:16 +0000

A great article. [source]

”

“The problem is not men, it’s you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they’re not really standing in your way. Because the fact is — if whatever you’re doing right now was going to get you married, you’d already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let’s look at the top six reasons why you’re not married.

1. You’re a Bitch.

Here’s what I mean by bitch. I mean you’re angry. You probably don’t think you’re angry. You think you’re super smart, or if you’ve been to a lot of therapy, that you’re setting boundaries. But the truth is you’re pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it’s scaring men off.

The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here’s what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn’t think so. You’ve seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man’s fear and insecurity in order to get married — but actually, it’s perfect, since working around a man’s fear and insecurity is big part of what you’ll be doing as a wife.

2. You’re Shallow.

When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man’s character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you’re not married, I already know it isn’t. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.

3. You’re a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore — but they’re not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you’re having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long.

That’s due in part to this thing called oxytocin — a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm — that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It’s why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn’t even all that great and the next thing you know, you’re totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that’s how it happened. And since nature can’t discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you’re going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4. You’re a Liar.

It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he’s not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he’s married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, “I’m not really available for a relationship right now.”

You know if you tell him the truth — that you’re ready for marriage — he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don’t want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don’t want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don’t tell him that. That’s your secret — just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can’t live without you. I have news: he will never “figure” this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn’t be lying to him in the first place.

5. You’re Selfish.

If you’re not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don’t have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy — or at least a guy with a really, really good job — would solve all your problems.

Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It’s not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say — if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.

6. You’re Not Good Enough.

Oh, I don’t think that. You do. I can tell because you’re not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don’t know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won’t love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

I see this at my son’s artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you’re trying to be. They’re attractive, sure. They’re just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.

Alright, so that’s the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You’re just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won’t. Once the initial high wears off, you’ll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.

Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something — it’s about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession — a free-agent penis — and for us, it’s the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway — because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self — you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

Tracy McMillan is a TV writer whose credits include Mad Men and The United States of Tara. Her memoir I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway is now available in paperback from Harper Collins/It Books. She lives in Los Angeles with her 13-year-old son.”

Now we know why some people fear the idea of marriage and the future? Mega head shot post yo!!!

Today Belongs To Us.

missycheerio — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 00:46:21 +0000

Greetings! I’m finally done with my final exams, which is my final paper for my degree in University of Melbourne; and heck it feels awesome. No words can explain how much pressure I’ve put myself under over the last three months; especially when I slacked a little during the break up, and I needed to work three times as hard to get things back into shape. You have no idea. Whenever I feel unhappy or incredibly happy about something; I would just shut it off and not let it take my mind off my work; because I know that my parents didn’t pay that much money to let me go through a heartache but I’m here to study, so I guess that worked.

Have you ever thought about how every bad situation in our lives all happened for a reason; and if you take a step back to observe carefully, something good always come out of it. Well I have a confession to make. Something I’ve been wanting to spill for a very long while but I just couldn’t have it out till I’m finally done with exams. Turns out the break up didn’t leave me heartbroken or upset, I was angry for a long while because it happened; and I let it get to me, it did affect my studies for a bit. I didn’t wanna share it because I know my friends & family are still fuming over what happened, but truthfully speaking; I’m only angry at myself.

Dinner last night.

You’ll come to realize one day that you can forgive everyone or anyone, but the toughest thing to do is to forgive yourself. It sucks when its in my nature to put the blame on myself (trust me its becoming a weakness), and I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. What happened to me while growing up kinda gave everyone in my life a token to make mistakes; because its true that everyone makes mistakes. Only difference is, if you’ve learned from it; and not repeat them. You only get one shot to my forgiveness, I can take any shit; but I can’t take it twice.

Been calling this a meal for a week, I love vegetables so much its not funny.

Sometimes I think I’m just way too positive for my own good, and people don’t get how I can see pass everybody’s weaknesses and see the good side of it. Believe me, I question myself that as well. Anyway, back to the situation; I’ve been angry at myself for letting myself down and letting relationship matters get to me; but I had a good fight, fought to get myself back. I knew exactly what to do, and I can say that I’ve not stopped working since my birthday. Thats a good seventy days streak, and everything else has just been on hold. And through that period of self inflicted anger, I think I grew up and got to know myself a little better. I knew exactly what I wanted to be, and what I didn’t want. First step to changing, is to realize; and I know its human nature to cast the blame upon someone else, but by doing that you’re just giving yourself another token to escape from reality.

The pressure was intense, I went through every single day of studying; with thoughts running in my head that I must not let my parents down. There was guilt, anger, and I was unhappy because I could have done so much better; but hey I think I’ll be just fine. I’ve never worked so hard ever in my life, and I was down with fever two days ago; it lasted till last night, the headaches was so bad. I’m just glad that the battle is over, and now I feel complete. I know I’ve done my best. Dad called me up the night before, he was obviously worried cause (like I said I’ve never studied this hard LOL) and he knew I was sick; so he said this to me. “Just FAIL the exam, we’ll take the trip to your graduation as a nice holiday and don’t worry about it.”

I think instead of making me feel better, I felt even more horrible. Dad, I appreciate the thought; but.

This was insane.

Leon has been babysitting me over the last one week, although his exams were over; and seriously I have an amazing boyfriend. Despite it all, he’s the only one who’s treated me so well and when I mean well; I mean crazy omgthissortofguyhaslongdisappearedwiththedinasours sort of boyfriend. I’m not even exaggerating. I can’t explain how it feels exactly, but I know I’m known for having very high expectations and hard to please (REALLY?), and Leon didn’t even have to break a sweat trying. I mean as much as I would love to not admit it, he’s quite a dream guy; a boyfriend who cooks for you not to gain extra boyfriend points but he said he’ll do it everyday within a heartbeat. And he does, although he could barely fry an egg at the start. I love that he’s trying to be better, and he calls himself a masterchef now. I made his life a little tougher when I said, no carbs.

The thing that works for us is, we’re very similar people on the inside. Our common grounds and beliefs are completely the same, but we only realize that after the breakup. So in a way, instead of trying to hard to understand a situation; it became too easy because I would have done the same thing. Lets just put it this way, if we ever complain about one another; we’re complaining about ourselves as well. I honestly believe that he might be my soul mate; at least he thinks I am, because we get along so well and we’ve so much in common. Its like hanging out with your best friend. Its obviously different though, when you’re in love with your best friend. Nothing ever seems enough, and you look forward to everyday.

Its not about being in a committed relationship just because its something that people do when they get serious; sometimes its not hard at all. If you find your Mr/Ms Right; you’ll know it even if you try to push it away. They will make your future, and soon you’ll realize that the Mr/Ms Wrong’s you’ve dated in the past were all necessary mistakes in order to shape you into this version of yourself. You know he loves you when he’s never left your side. I kinda see it now that although we broke up at that point, he’s never failed to see me and at that point it was all a blur; but now its crystal clear. At least we’ve both grown up. Just a little sorry to all the people who’ve been dragged into our relationship problems; well at least now I know what we want.

On a lighter note:

I’ve just gotten a crazy scoopon deal to get my hair done, yes back to being a red head before my graduation.
We’re making a new music cover later on today, so lots of singing and I’m excited.
Grocery shopping to cook dinner tonight for his family, Leon has a lot to prove.
Need to get my portfolio done and uni application for Post Graduate(Masters) this weekend.
Gonna have to look for a new place, moving out; currently considering moving into QV. Fingers crossed.
I have so much stuff to pack, god knows how am I gonna move it and where to move it to.
So excited for aerochute, probably gonna try to do it next week!

Most importantly, hit the gym. Alright guys, story you another time. I miss my dog.

Love Notes.

missycheerio — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 01:38:05 +0000

LIKE this post if I should get home to Malaysia.

Its the last day of October, its sure been a great month. I knew that September was hell, and I guess the cards were dealt to my favour. November’s gonna be a month of exams and lots of studying; planning on short trips around Melbourne, busking on the streets with Leon & I’m so gonna shop my hearts out. Okay don’t mean to sound spoiled, but dad said its okay so reward myself after hibernating at home; play by the rules. I love shopping, who doesn’t? My make-up collection has tripled since I came over, even more after I met miss Jasmine Hu who spoils me with catchoftheday sales & I’ve recently developed my love for bold red lips. It goes well with my sun-kissed honey tan skin.

I have no preference for any brand in particular,but I don’t think you should save on make-up. Okay perhaps its the idea of having stuff on your face (which you wear out 24/7 with nothing to conceal when you age) the last thing you need is to spoil it with products that harms your skin right? My skin acted up quite a bit when I first moved to Melbourne, but now its doing pretty well. In my daily make up pouch, I use:

Stila/Maybelline/Bobbi Brown eyeliner
Bobbi Brown foundation (fantastic!)
MAC for a quick blush or else I’ll look pale
Too Faced eye shadow palette, fav color on the palatte; Sexpresso!
Lancome/Estee Lauder mascaras (rarely)
YSL Rouge Couture Belle De Rose (cost me 50AUD)

I can live without make up on my face, only use ‘em when I’m out for events,occasions or date with the boyfriend. Its important to look pretty when you’re out, and its okay to just leave it naked at home. If you ever see me in uni, I look like a total cool nerd in a huge oversized sweater/pull-over. Its like, my uniform.

Malaysia, I hope you’re ready for us in December. Triple Trouble.

Cai Jin @jindramaqueen

Melissa Yang @MelissaYYQ.

Dinner at Mai Tai. Loved the deco and foood.

Sometimes, life is about living it. I strive to be happy, and I am. I study hard for uni, I blog with amazing followers (its a good 2000+ daily), I have a boyfriend who wants to marry me, a dog that goes by the name Brownthepom who skypes with me, girlfriends who’s always just a phone call away, a healthy gym life, cooking has become a hobby,i get to pursue music, a month away from graduation, i don’t drink,smoke or do drugs, I design buildings and build cool models, grocery shopping is the best therapy, i enjoy house chorese, and of course to have spending power without abuse it; ultimately, just self-acceptance.

I’m happy being who I am.

I’m no longer defined by my past, or by my mistakes. I don’t live going in circles anymore, I’m here at this point of my life with no regrets. As much as there was so much pain, I grow out of it. Its not arrogance, its just a self-accomplishment; when you crawl out of the darkness and look back realizing that it was all necessary. There’s no short cut to growing up, ever fall is a must; and till you fall and get up again, you’re no different from a baby crawling.

I love my family and friends. They inspire me, and I hope in some ways; I’ve inspired you too.

That was two months ago. Its amazing how time flies.
Now, we keep things via iMessage. iPhone messaging does wonders.

Oh Brownie.

missycheerio — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 06:04:43 +0000

Can’t wait to get home and hug you Brownie.

“There’s moments in your life that make you; that set the course for who you’re gonna be. Sometimes they’re little subtle moments. Sometimes they’re not. Bottom line is even when you see them coming,you’re not ready for the big moments. Nobody asks for their life to change. Not really, but it does. So what are we helpless? Puppets? No, the big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. Thats when you find out who you are”

Now I know what makes what we have so special. Apparently he’s never felt this way before and he’s never loved anyone as much. And I’m starting to believe that myself,because I feel the exact same way too. I don’t think I should justify the depth of love based on what we’ve gone through, sometimes those are just merely life experiences.Love is one of the strongest force, it Its true you dont know what you’ve got until its gone, but its also true you dont know what you’ve been missing until it arrives.

Love will always find its away.

Alrighty, gonna hit the basketball court with the rest of them boys & then to the gym at my place. Gonna drown myself with two lectopia sessions tonight, and study my heart out. Dinner should be lovely tonight.

Rockin’ Happiness.

missycheerio — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 16:44:57 +0000

Good day folks. Its been such a long week rehearsing for tonight’s show, which was a good experience on my end. Had heaps of fun prepping up for the night, trouble memorizing lyrics at some point (more like, panic attacks!) and this is gonna be a tough week ahead. I have lots of assignments to work on, although I must say that time management seems to be working out to my advantage; and all I need now is just a bit more effort to make sure all the hard work and effort pays off. It can be quite a scary thought to have to juggle between studies, fun, music, gym and basketball; but this time around things are a little different. Failing to plan = planning to fail right?

I feel a lot more composed this semester with my work, a little more confident in my abilities; but once again, it really is that easy to get carried away when you’re having a great time. Perhaps last semester was a little messy because getting used to the country, a slightly different education system (better, I reckon) and it was a direct transfer straight into the final year. Sometimes I do ask myself, why don’t I panic as much as before; is it confidence or am I slacking? Trust me thats not exactly the best state to be in, but things got better after week 2; I’m just more aware of my abilities and working speed. Yay for me, but I still think I can do much more and a whole lot better.

I need to make my parents proud.
And I will.

Here’s Leon, the ever supportive boyfriend.

Kangkong belacan, I miss you.

This was some Thai food place that we discovered somewhere near our hotel in Singapore. Very reasonably priced and the food was amazing!

Saturday Night Lights.

Esplanade. (?)

It was pure coincidence that we were around for the 10pm night lights!

Fullerton Hotel.

Mee Poh. I’ve tasted better once down the south region of Malaysia, where it was originated. I miss this too!

Friend Oyster Omellete.

Hopped on the tour double-decker bus.

We had fun posing around, and even shot the Hurricane Singapore video only to realize that they have a hidden camera somewhere at the front. I can’t imagine how entertaining it must have been for the bus driver.

Thats it for Singapore, for now! Will update more the next time.

Leon Marcus Zachary, looking all bored waiting for dinner at Kota Raya @ St.Kilda. The rain was so heavy, and it was probably the worst time to go on a site visit to get night shots.

Malaysian fooooooooooooooooooood.

Japanese food delivery. They’re actually pretty healthy meals.

I’m living in a student private accommodation, where they’re pretty strict with outsiders getting in and out of the premise; so I would usually walk all the way down to the reception lobby to beep the door in order to bring visitors in. Being the ever filled with surprises cute self, Leon rang me up rushing me to get downstairs; and when I opened the door; tadaaaaaaaaaa there he was!

Now, who unwrapped my gift box?!

Pancake Parlour. Guilty pleasure, whats the point of hitting the gym so often hmmmmm?

Cupcake Central [?], click on the question mark if you like to know more. Think I should start doing that to give you a better idea of the things I try out.

It was Leon’s idea to try this out, men loves cupcakes. Hahaha!

After a long workout at the gym, here’s the famous Pancake Parlour’s [?] Country Breakfast.

‘

Attempted to make Lotus soup, I need more soup recipes.

I make it a point to cook vegetables with leaves because Leon is not a big fan of vegetables, hence the need to improvise by adding in his favourite prawns. He now enjoys vegetables (just bak choy at the moment) and demands for kangkung. Do leave a note if you know where I can find kangkung in Melbourne, within the city.

A weekend spent just sketching out ideas, lots of 3D rendering work, and thankfully I think I nailed my presentation!

Took this shot after the rainy night at St.Kilda, and super imposed (photo montage) the neon sign for my motel. Kinda happy that I’ve not lost touch with photography!

Design studio in uni. Weekly pin-up presentations, sadly this semester they’re on Mondays; there goes my weekends!

Supper at Minh Xuong Restaurant. [?]

The roasted duck, is to die for!

Yes, I’ve finally succumbed to peer pressure. Nah I’m kidding, finally managed my timetable and found time to attend gym classes. Its only been a week, and I’m loving it.

Shanghai Street [?] dumplings with Christine.

Xiao Long Bao, yummmssssss!

Cacao Green. [?]

Now look at that happy face.

Earlier tonight, Leon [subscribe!] taking the stage; solo.

A video taken back at home in Malaysia, I miss Brownthepom.
Hope you enjoyed the post, its good to be back blogging again!

Actions & Reactions.

missycheerio — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 03:22:00 +0000

Good day folks. I know it’s been a long month, especially on my end with a lot of getting used to being back in Malaysia. I’ll be leaving on a jet plane once again on Sunday as the new semester commences next week. I think it’s time for me to address my own heartaches and set the records straight about everything. I haven’t been writing at all because it feels like I’ve been living in self denial. I’m not as happy as you think, I’m definitely not an angry person like you’d assume; i’ve been lying to myself that I can live on happily with misunderstandings.

There was this point in time when I chose to give a benefit of the doubt and wishfully hoped that things would improve with time. I’ve been baffled up with incidents one after another, playing a different game of poker putting up a poker face that I’m not bothered at all. Truth is, I’ve been upset; same shit,different day. If I could pour all my frustrations out, I would; but this time I’m holding it all back out of respect. I miss my freedom of speech, this is after all my personal space; a place I’d call home. So please, have some manners and don’t go walking into someone else’s home like an intruder. Sometimes I think I’m pretty dysfunctional in such a way where I’ve grown to be a little insensitive towards people who don’t deserve it.

I’m at fault too, of course.
Maybe I should have been more considerate and sensitive towards how some of my actions would lead to further complications; and every action will trigger a form of reaction.

Managed to have this long heart to heart talk with mum the other night; it was the first proper conversation I’ve had with her throughout since I got home. It wasn’t part of my plan to isolate myself from my family and to just shut away like how I’ve always been. When I’m really unhappy or angry, I don’t really show it or lash it out; I wish I had some form of bad temper, then it’d probably be a healthier solution on my end. Sometimes I do believe that things will always get better even if you’re at the shittiest point of your life, where everything just falls out of place; nothing ever goes as planned right? Leon thinks that my optimism may backfire in the future, the idea of being too positive would lead me to avoidable situations; being too naive that reality might just treat you well every once in a while.

My faith is shaken. Practicing what you preach will always be the toughest thing to do. Whatever happened to kindness, good faith & selflessness? Its always easier said than done; at least now I know that most people don’t really walk the talk. I wish that I’m a little more heartless, then I wouldn’t feel as much; that would probably make me a happier person.

Things will only get better.

I Don’t Write About.

missycheerio — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 01:49:29 +0000

Good day folks. I’ve been stuck with notes, studying for the finals coming up on Tuesday & can’t believe that I’m three weeks away from being home! Time flies and if I could list down everything I miss about home I would

I miss having my mum nagging at me (trust me you’ll feel the difference when you don’t have it )
I miss my car, and I miss driving; thats like one thing I miss doing most
I miss being that Ampang Yong Tou Fu and Fu Shou Lou Curry Mee right outside my housing area
I miss playing basketball on a daily basis, I miss my tan skin
I miss watching movies on a very regular basis because its so expensive here in Melbourne
I miss waking up in the morning with Brownthepom wagging its tail at the door front saying Good Morning
I miss walking my dog in the evenings
I miss my mum’s cooking, and all the good food! (thank god I can remember taste very well and cook it here)
I miss being stuck in traffic jams, I get to play my favourite tracks & sing for it; so why not?
I miss my friends and my hectic schedule; Ellie is always unavailable.
I miss staying up late till wee hours in the morning working on my assignment and having my dad to walk up to me asking me to go to sleep. I used to be able to stay up easily, but with the current weather, its getting tough.
I miss watching football with my dad on weekends, and shouting out GOAL together; so loud that Brownthepom would wake up from his deep sleep with messy fur.
I miss bathing my dog, its always fun to mess around with Brownie because he has a love/hate relationship with water.

How do you like his new fur cut?

Sometime before I left home.

Dad & Mum.

This is where I would sing Karaoke with daddy in the Theater room.

Thats Brownthepom looking clueless from the outside.

My youngest brother.

Brother Wen Zhi.

The one thing which I miss doing most, photography!

It was on Christmas last year as I remembered clearly, while I was on holidays with my family; I got a news that I might have a growth or a tumor at the back of my head. I’ve never spoken about it only shared it with my closest friends and family; this was the one month before I left Malaysia. After I was diagnosed late for dengue last October being hospitalized on my birthday is not exactly the nicest way to spend a birthday, that was already a huge turning point in my life where I know that I need to make my everyday count from that point onwards. My blood palette count dropped to 23 and the close call for ICU was nerve wrecking. It was that point in time where I nearly died, you should have seen the look on my parents face and the situation was bad because I was admitted late into the hospital.

My grandmother passed away at home three weeks before I was hospitalized for dengue, she died of cancer; and that was a huge blow for me. Now that I think about it, perhaps thats one of the reason why I was not aware of my health conditions because things were so bad at home; there you have it, me falling into depression. It was then that I realized that I needed to do something for myself and breakaway from everything comfortable in my life; no more life with privileges, which is the reason why I don’t drive in Melbourne. It was my choice to leave everything I’ve built and just reach out to discover different sides of myself which I can never be if I was still home.

I wanted to be independent, to handle my own bills, worry about grocery and feeding myself; which was quite a struggle at first. I suffered from post-dengue trauma for two months having massive hair loss; yes I had to go through two months of the fear that I might go bald with the way my hair was falling off. So, having to go through all this two months before I leave for Melbourne, the packing, VISA application etc; then the head tumor thing which came along, can you imagine how miserable it was?

Three funerals, two being the host; losing my aunt and grandma both to cancer in the span of two weeks
Hospitalized for a week for dengue,two months of post dengue trauma with my hair falling off like it no longer stick onto the scalp. I cried everyday for the first two weeks with my long hair all over my room, my car, and everywhere I went. I was once at a friends place and it was so embarrassing because theres this bunch of hair on the sofa because I sat there. It was painful, but traumatic. I honestly thought I was going bald. I lost half the amount of hair I had (thank god I had thick hair!) and its visible in my photos in December. I have my perfect thick long hair now, thank god.
I was out of the country when I got the news about my possible head tumor. I swear that at that point I didn’t know if I could still go over to Melbourne if I had to go through an operation, and if its a operation on the head it means I would still have to shave my head and be bald for a while right? You have no idea how scary it feels to know that there’s something growing in your head, I thought I was going to die; again. My state of mind at that point was just to get the hell out of year 2010; I’ve had enough of misery, the pain was just too much. Even going to the doctors to do the scanning and test results was terrifying; as if the traumatic experience from dengue wasn’t bad enough. Well, I’m still alive.

I wanted Melbourne, I wanted this life to learn how to look after myself; and thats the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. My love life was put on hold for a while, it wasn’t my priority at all. I’m happy now that I’ve met somebody who can relate to all the troubles I’ve had as written above; that was one of the main reasons why I’m able to feel this way about somebody again. Its not about the greatness that you share together, its about the ability to look and feel the pain about situations which requires more than just affection. With Leon it feels like I’ve found a best friend where I can tell him just about anything in the world; and you should never lose the friendship in a relationship. He’s made me look at life in Melbourne a little differently, especially through my first winter; that I should take everything as it comes. My parents raised me to be an all rounder with proper upbringing; its just sad when you spend half the time being misunderstood.

If you’ve been reading well enough, I don’t write about the things I do; because I can’t be writing about how I spend hours figuring out what to cook knowing that he loves pork hence I try to cook pork as often as I can. I don’t write about how I’ve doubled up my expenditure shopping for twice the amount of groceries but that keeps me cooking and eating well. I don’t write about how I stay on Skype all the time because it gets cold in winter and the tendency of falling asleep is way too high; so I rely on friends to just stay on the line doing our own thing just to keep me up. I don’t write about going to the pharmacy being all puzzled about the different methods and stuffs used to treat wounds; and how its so expensive here. I don’t write about the amount of time spent encouraging and lifting up his spirit that he’s a way more positive person now. I don’t write about the things that I do for people because there’s no need to shout about it.

I’m different, and I’m glad that through all that has happened; it made me a better person. I’m stronger than ever, and you need to know that it was a hard fought battle; won. I have the ability to pull people of out of the dark, and I know it. I live off good faith in my tomorrows, the world needs people to believe in the good possibilities.

Animal Mansion: Love Animals Love.

missycheerio — Wed, 05 May 2010 17:59:55 +0000

Greetings folks. If you have read the news recently, the number of unwanted animals in Malaysia are increasing and the amount of animals put to sleep totals up to over 18,000 per year now. Where it used to be only dogs and cats put to sleep, now other types of pets are affected too. Malaysians are generally quite the “pet-loving” sort of society, however there’s seem to be any other options besides sending them over to SPCA (knowing that they’ll be put to sleep if not adopted after a certain period of time), taking them in as the house pet or just simply ignoring them causing the increase in the amount of strays as well.

Animal Mansion is a non-profit online animal adoption center where we aim to gather as many unwanted animals as possible and put them up for possible adopters. The site also caters for Lost & Found pets and adoption drives, etc. As the site was just only started end-of-April 2010, they need help to spread the message to encourage people to put up any strays or pets up for adoption.

They’re aiming to gather at least 100 pets for adoption and have at least 50 of them adopted, all within the next 3 months. So if you have strays at your backyards, quickly snap a picture and contact them.

Thats the least you can do for these animals, help them find a home.

It basically serves as an online adoption center,because many people don’t really want to or at times don’t have the time to visit centers like SPCA, PAWS and etc. This is supposed to make things easier for people who’re looking to adopt (you’ll never know right?) but lack the time to actually search for the right pet. And it’s also a platform for people who cannot keep their pets or who have brought home strays to look for potential adopters. Usually when people are unable to get a proper home for these animals, they are either sent to the pound or left in a box somewhere.

I don’t know if you’re the sort of pet owner where you only love pets who’re cute looking and ignore the ugly ones; but I guess there’ll always be a soft side to anyone of us when it comes to animals. Pets to be exact, because they have this indescribable connection with us human beings; to an extent where sometimes you end up being too attached. I’ve once nearly lost Brownthepom in 2007 and I know how it feels to lose your closest pet. The world wide web couldn’t do much on the Lost & Found section.

I was lucky,a kind lady found Brownthepom running around the huge T-junction being nearly ran down by vehicles 46236267112986896 times before picking him up. Too bad animals can’t speak the human language,or else they would have been able to help themselves,right?

Its okay to have strays, but enough of road kills.
Not all strays are built to last in the “wild”. May these act of goodness to snap a picture or even a video of a stray animal,put it up for adoption or adopt a pet yourself & spread the message whenever you have people looking to adopt.

Humans maybe complicated beings, but animals aren’t.
Support Animal Mansion, spread the love.