Written yesterday.

Good day folks. I’m feeling a whole lot better today,managed to finish up whatever I’ve set out to complete before heading out to Crocs official website launch later tonight. Today might somehow come off as quite an emotional post,but since I’m here to kill time in college; wtf might as well get in touch with my emotions since I’ve abandoned it lately.

I don’t quite know how should I put this up,but let me just roll with the flow okay. Remember how I’ve always talked about this one person in my everyday life who’s diagnosed with cancer, the one who’s mistreated me since I was 5 years old, the one who I can’t recall the number of times she’s actually called me by my name. Growing up with anger,and not being able to justify what you’ve done to be treated that way kinda throws you off your sensitivity radar at times.

Growing pains is what they call it,that sort of agony that you have to go through. That sort of tolerance that teaches you the value of being a family and how important it is to learn how to love others before you love yourself. I wouldn’t dare use the word hate, but I really have no feelings attached, nothing whatsoever. It bothers me at times how heartlesss I can be,but I guess its karma working its magic. I never had the privillege of having a grandparent,and yet I still find myself feeling sorry for old folks who’re left abandoned by their children.

So knowing that she’s so lucky being treated like a queen(those were the days), then suffering with cancer causing mum to lose her temper almost everyday. I sit in my room working either on my model/3D/drawings with an echo of her voice screaming on and on again; with so much hate and anger raging from the inside. I get so upset at times that I just convince myself to just fuck it, but at the same time I’m so worried about my mum’s health.

I am so caught in between feeling angry, I pity her at times too sitting all alone in the park then reminding myself again that she’s mistreated you all your life.Its a constant struggle to really question yourself the importance of being in a family which is extremely family oriented, but at the same time having so much stress over the dinner table when dad gets angry whenever she spits,eating it back and spitting it out again. Just looking at the expression of my face, often the tanker (more like shield) over the dinner; I’d rather come up with conversations to distract my dad which usually ends up with me being bombarded over something wtf.

This explains my level of tolerance, if I do switch on the I don’t give two shits about you; then nothing can come close to affecting me. Its scary at times,when I think about how I’ve tried so hard to just feel sorry but I know I’m done trying to be nice. Someone once predicted that I will be living in constant dilemma all my life wtf thats not necessary a bad thing; but one thing is for sure, I will always have to make choices.

***

On a much lighter note,pictures from Justin from yesterday night. It was Crocs Malaysia’s official website launch party over at Friendscino Cafe, Damansara Perdana. I’m waiting for the rest of the photos,please come in soon!

This is Crocs Nation’s latest edition; England for me.
I’m a size 6,so it looked pretty tiny & cute on me!

I have something to announce too,a spanking good news for my readers.
Yours truly is now the Official Blogger for Crocs Malaysia 2010!

I’ll do a proper write up about it soon,with proper giveaways too. In the mean time, I have one cash voucher which I’ve decided to giveaway.All you need to do is. Based on the picture above on the Crocs Nations Limited Edition in conjuction with the 2010 FIFA World Cup;

Which is your favourite pair of Crocs Nation edition and why?
I’m routing for England,now tell me yours and the cash voucher is yours!

Related posts:

1. Anger is One Letter Short of Danger.
2. Crocs Calls.
3. Don’t Look Back In Anger.

Posted on Saturday, June 12th, 2010 in Advertorial $$, Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Crocs Malaysia. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.