Good day readers, friends & everything nice. Sorry I haven’t been writing lately, been busy with all the last minute shopping, packing, getting my Visa done, and of course; making the best out of my remaining time here. No worries though, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be updating like every single day when I’m in Melbourne wtf since I have all the time in the world. One of the many things which I’m kinda moved, or rather surprised in so many ways; would be how I never realized how much I would mean to people in general. There will always be people who don’t fancy you, people who would envy you, people who would say the meanest thing about you; but if you look at the bigger picture, thats precisely what you should be looking at.

While we were doing…

Its 12.30am now and god knows why am I feeling all so excited to write; maybe its quite a nice feeling knowing that people are always looking forward to read what you have to say, and most of the time its pretty much about myself. Still beats me how people would read on a daily basis, although I’m just some ordinary architecture student who happens to do a bit of everything else. Please don’t get me wrong, this isn’t the ego speaking; if you know me in person, I don’t really have an ego. Its just how it feels so surreal and awesome sometimes when you have people saying the nicest things about you to your face; and question is, have I really reached out that far?

I look back to December 2006 where I started off a blog in Xanga to place my police report filling a restraining order against an ex-boyfriend who was harassing me and my family. I was only using some shitty camera phone, I never knew I could write for nuts and most importantly we all know that there are thousands of blogs with way prettier faces; I’m not exactly awesome to begin with. So slowly it went from fifty, to hundreds before it reached more than a thousand on a daily basis. It was a struggle at first because I mastered the art of bitching and firing people over the world wide web years ago. Could still recall me crying my hearts out about how angry I was with my past, how angry I was with my life when things were anything but great back in my teenage years.

Being famous as a teenager in high school will always take away all form of normality growing up, you get all the perks; but you might also land up with the hardest fall. I fell so hard, hitting rock bottom before I decided to pursue architecture which sort of changed my life forever. My love life was quite a love story on its own too,but sadly of course; the five year long relationship is over now. It feels like this entire thing about being MissyCheerio is written whole heartedly as an individual; I’m for real and I don’t really succumb to peer pressure. I don’t blog for the sake of blogging, I don’t write for the sake of updating; because I hold this blog very close to heart, with hopes that when you read; it makes you feel like you’ve known me forever.

Of course, the frequently asked question would be; how do you deal with that feeling of being exposed with everyone reading everything about you, wouldn’t you feel judged?

Frankly speaking, I’ve been around for years; and when you’re at this point where you have a ratio of a thousand readers who love you and three who hates you, its a total I don’t quite give a fuck kinda situation. Every little thought that runs across your mind, even if they’re negative ones about somebody; you’re producing bad karma, what goes around will always come around. To all young bloggers who’s inspired to have a significant place over the world wide web, find the essence that makes you; you and it will all shine through. The world could use some good ol’ dose of brutal honesty.

My priority was never to be famous, to make it big as an online personality; I guess my approach was to have my thoughts out regardless of how it may be misinterpreted, to have listeners I never had. I failed at some point too; like late last year when I lost grip of my juggling act to balance between relationship, architecture, and MissyCheerio. I made a choice, to prioritize myself above everything else now, that I’ll finish off what I started hopefully with a bang. One of the many reasons why it feels so good to leave although I’m also sad; it feels like I’ve accomplished everything I’ve set out to achieve. At some point of your life, where you find yourself; you won’t see the need to always rely on others perception of yourself to get a picture of how you are.

No I’m not saying that you should end up being some ignorant bastard being so full of yourself; but have self assurance and if you have a heart who’s set out to do things right with love, trust me that you’ll never lose your way. All the right people in your life would pull you right back up, I’m thankful to be surrounded with great friends who’s found their way to my heart; give and you will always receive.

The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend.

So if you have fifty friends,what is one enemy?

Its a freedom of choice; as individuals to think and perceive things the way they want, always bear in mind that the mind is a dangerous playground. For example, not many girls can control jealousy; they’d immediately rule of any possible chance of a positive thought solely because the mind has obviously screwed her over, realizing after she’s broken up that the girl was always a good ol’ plain Jane all the while. I’ve learned my lesson never to get so easily jealous again because remember when you give trust; the chances of your boyfriend wanting to protect that trust you share is way higher.

Lets mirror the situation, if you know that your boyfriend gives you his whole entire heart and trust without a single doubt; the honor of having someone’s trust is possibly one of the greatest feeling you can ever have. It gives you that sense of belonging, that sense of importance, that sense of responsibility and of course love.This doesn’t mean that I’m some dumb chick who’d be caught dumbfounded with a cheating boyfriend; I’m armed with the skill to read people, to read actions and reactions, to read between the lines, to smell trouble only now; without over reacting to situations and be in total control of it. I’ve never lost a single fight, and I don’t lose.

To be honest, I started off this post with an intention to simply chuck one line and attach a link to download the MP3 of the video and landed up with a long one like this. I guess I really do have a lot on my mind,and I’m deprived of writing! To all the people who’s shared the video, hitting the 2000th mark and liked it; thank you so very much. Its something very personal, and its good if you felt what I gave through the lines; but if you don’t and choose to pick on technical quality, i reckon you stick to the radio. This life is yours, live it for yourself and not for anybody else. I’d like to grow old someday to look back and tell myself that I’ve truly lived.

I won’t look and sound the same way 30 years from now, imagine how cool it’d be to show my children; look baby, this was mummy! To download the MP3 track: http://soundcloud.com/azrinarizz/back-to-december-threeminutenights-ft-missycheerio

Related posts:

1. Honestly Dishonest.
2. Ushering The New Year 2011.
3. Love’s The Strength.

Posted on Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011 in Architecture Eats My Life Away, Blogosphere, Cheerio thinks a lot, Personal Writing Masterpieces. Subscribe to this comment feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.