11

Hello Malaysia.

October 11, 2014

It sure feels pretty damn good to be back. Figured its about time I start penning down my thoughts before this year gets wiped out. First things first, I’ve taken up a job as a lecturer in Taylor’s University and I love my job! :D I think its highly satisfying and I always leave uni feeling extremely worn up, but happy. So much has changed over the last two months.

 

Graduation was obviously the highlight of the month of August (oh yes I’m finally done, and pretty happy finishing off with first class too!) but there were obviously some massive adjustments to go through before arriving at this point where I actually have the time to write. It was a really tough call leaving my beloved second home (Melbourne) and I really miss my friends! Its almost as if I’m hitting a major reset button, having to get familiarized with life in Malaysia all over again. I’m just glad that I don’t have to pack and unpack for the next two/three months. I just want to settle in, have a proper weekly routine and start feeling ‘home’ again.

So to sum it all up, I feel a little more grown up now. Big responsibilities, learning how to save up and somehow I’m spending a lot lesser these days. Maybe the whole packing ordeal gave me a hard knock on the head that I have wayyyyy to many things and its time to start giving back to the world. I think I’m at this point in my life where I’m learning how to see things in a whole new perspective and appreciate what I’ve gained over the recent years. Melbourne was definitely a life changing experience, but I think there is so much room to grow and look forward to in the next five years. :) Both my brothers have recently graduated from their respective courses within the month of August too. Its so funny how we spent the first three weeks of August at three separate graduation ceremonies! Wen Zhi completed his Bachelors in Chemical Engineering(Hons) and Wen Yang scored 4 A*’s for his Alevels! SUCH LUCKY PARENTS HAHAHA :D

We’re the lucky ones to have such supportive parents. Thanks dad and mum. We love you.

There’s also this special person in my life that I would love to thank for the endless love and support over the toughest 6 months of my life. I hope you know that it was you who changed the way I understood ‘life’ and thank you for believing in me. I remember how hard it was to stay up around the clock for such a long stretch, and it was then, in my weakest moment where he took on the tough role of being my cheerleader, cheering me on till the finishing line. Love knows no boundaries, and I guess I saw what was missing in my life in him. I felt the need to understand what it was like to live in this parallel field, and against all odds, I feel a lot stronger now as an individual. He’s probably one of the few people who can make me laugh and put a smile on my face like a knight in shining armor with a smiley sticker on his sword. :P

So I was trying to be this typical romantic-Ellie-self the other day, and suggested that painting a canvas together would be a super cool thing to do together. So that’s what we did, but he was practically rushing through the entire painting process and claimed that his half of the canvas was better than mine! Not true, obviously. The painting is officially a wall accessory in his room and I hope this serves as a reminder that I can paint better than you. HAHAHA! :D

Thank you for the wonderful birthday too, love. It was definitely one of the most memorable birthday celebration I’ve had in years. Cheers to more birthdays to come!



12

Across The Universe.

May 12, 2014

 

Some say that love has a way of making life seem a whole lot prettier. I was rehearsing, yet again, for another presentation tomorrow and I said to myself, I need to write this down. I’ve always been pretty clear about what I want in my other half, but at some point, I decided to just let it come and for once try to expect nothing. I know its still fairly early to conclude, but he must have been doing something right to make me feel this way. I’m just really happy because I’m gonna be done with masters and will be travelling quite a bit this year. I’m trying my very best not to jinx anything, but just thought I’d pen this down in case I look back and wonder.

Thank you for always trying to be there for me, being the oh-so supportive pillar. To make plans according to my timezone, just so you can squeeze in time after a long day at work to have a couple of hours with me. To call me at random times throughout the day just because I’m vaguely mentioned once that sometimes I get lonely (mainly coz I miss home). Knowing that you really listen to my complaints, I know I tend to ramble about all sort of nonsense but you somehow managed to pick up the main issue on what’s bothering me and fix it. Like some superhero yknow. I love how we’re so ridiculously hilarious together because all we do is laugh at absolutely everything and anything.

I don’t get why you think I’m so funny, why would you even laugh when I’m crying about stress from work. I sent him an image of Blackmores’ Stress and Anxiety relieve bottle, because I tend to get chest pains towards the end of semester due to stress. He told me over a phone call saying, “I will call you throughout the day, even if its a short 5 minutes call just to make sure you don’t get too stressed up. And it’s okay to ignore my phone calls if it gets too annoying.” LOL. I love how you really see me for who I am. I’ve always been critical when it comes to questioning what others see in me, that’s usually how I gauge people, based on what they observe. People always choose to see what they want to see, and that’s one way of understanding a person’s view point on things. So, what I adore most about him? Unlike me, he doesn’t fire me with an essay or a love poem, but he has his way of saying things at the most unexpected times in the most unexpected way!

I love that you’re such a smiley person like me! It’s like a freaking Colgate-ad face off whenever we talk. Hello lets see who can hold the longest smile with our teeths going EEEE…EEE. The winner is pretty damn obvious. :) I love that I don’t feel the need to question his intentions or get provoked over small issues because I tend to over analyze things. It is in my nature to observe and understand things from different perspectives. So for this instance, this is definitely the most ‘stable’ I’ve been over the years. No crazy late night fights because he’s so composed when it comes to dealing with me and my emotions. The combustion usually ends with sparkly dust floating in the air. It’s true yknow, when they say that the people in your life plays a great role in influencing and shaping the way you look at life. I’m seeing things in much more positive way lately.

As the matter in fact, I HAD A ROMANTIC weekend. It was just me preparing this huge bag of presents and I made aglio olio pasta at 4am just so I can get my friend to deliver it back home to Malaysia within the same day. A pasta delivered via Air Asia flown 8 hours from Melbourne to Kuala Lumpur. I’m not sure how can I express this odd urge to be hopelessly romantic, but its not something I do very often. Some say that opposites attract. Some say that you need similarities to stay together. Based on my own experience, I’d say both! In my humble opinion, I personally enjoy the never ending learning process and that keeps me interested. You need that common ground i.e. similar family upbringing, hobbies, interest, and you definitely need to want the same thing at the same time in order to make anything happen. Timing is EVERYTHING. It can make and break any relationship. I love someone who shares the same hunger for a better version of ourselves. I love that he understands why I do what I do, and gives me his full support in pursuing my dreams. I love his humility and the way one deals with people on a daily basis.  I love it when someone doesn’t try too hard or seem like they know it all.

 

It’s okay to not know it all. And hell yeah its absolutely okay to make mistakes. Just learn from it and get better.


Anyway, I can’t wait to be home!!! :)



27

Shift Baby Shift.

April 27, 2014

 

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”


I was actually in the shower. Just thought it’d be cool to see how I could play with the water droplets, and I thought to myself, that would make a super cool ‘emo’ shot. I think it went pretty dang emo, don’t you reckon?  :D

As I was doing my work earlier, being all jovial babbling away about how awesome life is at the moment, harmonizing to The Script’s The Man Who Can’t Be Moved, a friend dropped a bomb on me. He said, ‘I don’t know how you hide it so well, but I think you deserve all the happiness in the world you can get.’  He’s a really close friend of mine. He added that all he sees in me over the years was pain, or maybe, just the struggle to get over one shit at a time and power through. He added,’ I remembered the first day that we met, you were so loud and bubbly. Never in my life would I have imagined you having such a bitter past.’ So dear good ol’ readers, if you’ve been reading long enough (its been eight years), you would have witnessed the transition of me being a freshman out of high school, to everything I am today. Still nothing much, but things have gotten better.

The truth is, I’m just hanging in there and I try to keep my mind on my short-term and long-term goals. It is often easier said than done, but I think I’ve mastered the art of handling pain and grief. Pain makes you grow up. It forces you to accept the bitter reality that things don’t always work out as planned. And you will soon realize that all that truly matters is to live life with a purpose greater than your own, and reach out to people. I know I’m a little weird, a concoction that makes no sense to some, but I guess I’ve been raised to never give up. There were nights where I’d sit in front of the computer, staring at my sheets of drawings, wondering if this will lead to anything beyond good grades on a certificate of excellence. What if all the hardship spent in uni will somehow diminish as soon as I step into the working world? So hey, it really is a matter of perspective.

Our priorities may shift, but like what my dad used to tell me, building a good character is crucial. Perhaps in this superficial world where we’re so caught up in the way society seeks and demands for you to be a certain way, some may have lost sight of what they truly want in life and you stop trying to be better. As the saying goes, life’s not a destination, it’s a journey of learning and re-learning  about ourselves and how we fit into this demanding society. I think all I want for the next couple of years is to reach a point where I can gladly say “hey, I’m happy” and I’d love to be able to look back at all the hardships and bid my final goodbye. :) I’ve lost countless of battles but I know that nothing good comes easy either. The biggest misconception about that ‘smile’ ?

I think I’ve been blessed with great friends and people in my life over the years. I do count my blessings. No, really I do. I believe that as long as you are able to give love unconditionally, even to new found friends or random strangers (don’t look at it the wrong way lol), the universe will find its way to deliver ‘em love back to you. It is okay to give without expecting anything in return. That’s probably one idea I hang on to pretty strongly. Be fearless, although the world may seem like a really dangerous place to wear your heart on your sleeves. Be as brave as you can be because believe me, I’ve walked the talk of throwing myself into the whirlpool. Your world will immediately become a prettier place when you start treating others how you want to be treated.

Don’t let fear get in the way.

 



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