02

Good To Be Back.

January 2, 2014

Happy New Year.

Hello there good ol’ readers. Sorry I’ve been away for a long while. Figured its about time I start writing again. So much has changed over the last half a year, and I have successfully accomplished my year 2013′s resolution. I’m not really sure where or how to begin,I’m feeling a little out of touch so bear with me if its a little jibberish. I spent the past couple of months healing. It was therapeutic. I saw the importance in redefining my priorities and I needed to fix things that needed fixing. Mending a wounded heart. I was dysfunctional for a long while. Incapable of loving or being in love. The danger of building a future shared with someone else, hand-in-hand have affected some of my life decisions. Which explains why I wanted to learn how to be completely alone, unattached and see what life has to offer with hopes that I’ll be able to see things in a larger perspective.

I’ve also learned that nothing in life is certain. There’s no guarantee that things will turn out the way you want it to be. So if you’re getting into a relationship or making life decisions with high expectations, you better be prepared for disappointments because shit happens. That’s just how life works. On the upside, if you’re in a bad situation, do know that it’s probably gonna get better because that is just how it works. My friends think I’m made out of this positive ball of energy, ever oh-so-hopeful about life, but hey, I just try to make the best out of what I have now and give my best. Hard work pays off, it always does and it always will. I think with the absence of a relationship in my life over the recent months, I see things really differently now and I can gladly confess that I am happy.

“True happiness comes from within yourself, not from someone else. Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along & make you happy.”

Can’t remember where I read this phrase, but it says, until you are able to be happy as an individual, you’ll never really gonna find happiness  in a relationship. So for this new year 2014, I strongly urge you to start looking deeper into yourself and question, what makes you happy? What makes me happy? Winning a game in Dota 2, or even the simplest things like having to purchase a shoe off ASOS for 70% off. My point is, life is what you make of it. You can choose to focus on the pain, the loss, or the unjust; or you can choose to appreciate what you have now. Keyword is to focus. Last year’s resolution was to learn how to be independent and alone: to find happiness through other things that I might have overlooked over the years. Friends, family and my dog of course. :)

I have some good news to share.

My results last semester was fantastic, and I might be able to graduate masters with pretty high flying grades when I finish mid-2014. I can’t wait to be done with my masters, and just be home for good. Parents were pretty happy with my results, and that makes me happy. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned in my previous post, but I picked up tutoring/mentoring last year. My Fridays were spent tutoring, and having one day off uni work dedicated to earn some extra cash. Frankly speaking, I really enjoyed the teaching process because it reminded me of my younger years pursuing architecture. I’ll post photos soon when I have the time, so stay tuned, haha.

So the frequently asked question this trip home was obviously boyfriend-related. “Are you seeing anyone? or “Got new boyfriend already ah?” My reply was no, of course not. Honestly I wish someone would ask me about my architectural stuff or my results, or something besides…my relationship status. I’m exactly where I have to be at this point in life. There’s this weird sense of accomplishment or shall I use a better word, perhaps satisfaction? Oh don’t get me wrong, I always go for the kill in everything I pursue. But I’ve also learned that you need to make multiple checkpoints to avoid being caught in the chase, and lose sight on the present.

Love, I believe that its all about timing and its not something you can control. It’s not supposed to be too complicated, or messy. If someone really wants to be with you, they will come around. After going through a long reflective period, I know that I’m handled and made peace with everything wrong in the past. I am free. No more excess baggage from previous relationships because the common culprit of bad relationships are problems instilled in our little minds carried forward to the next relationship. We sometimes find comfort by  being in denial and running away from the real problem. It’s normal, but unhealthy. I want to be at my 100%. We fear betrayal, lies, and bad situations from the past. But here’s the thing, until you make the conscious effort to deal  with the past constructively i.e. he cheated,  I got hurt, but that’s it. One individual who messed up, and bury it six feet under then move forward.

Happy Birthday to my brother, Wen Zhi. This was taken yesterday, everyone that mattered was in the photo above. :)

Find the courage to step up whenever someone knocks you down. Live in the present, and look back to the past every once in a while to remind yourself about the mistakes you’ve made and not repeat them. End the vicious cycle, and the change has to start from within. Take risks, and take control of your life. The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading and happy new year. :)

 

GOOD TO BE BACK. MUCH LOVE, CHEERIOS.



06

Snap Out.

August 6, 2013

I’ve been preoccupied. I was on Skype with mum earlier today, and when she asked me, “Girl what did you do all weekend?” I replied, just met up with friends and played Dota the entire weekend. :D Mum and I just laughed it off although I could feel that she was concerned that I might have gotten too carried away. There is no need to worry mum. Dota is merely one of the many ‘things’ I enjoy doing to kill time, or to relieve stress. I know how it can be highly addictive, but I’ve been cursed to have no absolute talent or luck  when it comes to games. Heck I don’t even have games on my iPhone because I can barely get pass the score of 600 on Fruit Ninja LOL. I really suck when it comes to games. My brain processes at the speed of a baby tortoise. :D

Moving on from the whole gaming part of my life, I’m going on full swing with my gym workout again. Spent about 45 minutes at the gym today, just working on my supersets and boy it was mad tiring. It’s really important to either switch up your workout or take sometime off to allow  your body to snap out of plateau. I’m probably gonna train myself to sleep earlier too in order to gym in morning. I’m a morning person! :) I usually wake up feeling happy unless I have nightmares about Brownthepom dying in my dreams. That would totally ruin my day. Why would I even have such horrid dreams to begin with? :(

Being decisive may have its perks but it may have its hidden consequences too. I believe that you can never walk away from someone you truly love, trust and someone who makes you heart beat a million times quicker whenever they’re around. I ain’t no soldier of fortune but I always hold on to what makes me feel alive. I was doing some heavy reading/research on architectural works online. Whenever I stumble upon a good design project, I  get this sudden zap of excitement going through my system. I’m such a weirdo, right? :| A motivated, directed subconscious mind is very powerful. I’ve discovered that the subconscious mind is scarily awesome. For example, I tend to remember tiny details especially when its architecturally related or directions) because I have this great fear of feeling lost and claustrophobia. So the subconscious part of my mind might have acknowledged my fear I reckon and somehow ‘downloaded’ the necessary details to prevent myself from ever getting lost or trapped.

I reckon that the same thing works when it comes to relationship. If you’re subconsciously fearing that everyone is out there is out to get you or cheat, you’re probably gonna stay unhappy for a long time because you might just end up sending out signals that you’re unfit to be in a trusting relationship even if you consciously try to portray confidence. What I’m trying to address here is the need to just be honest with yourself. Acknowledge your fears, pick up a pen, list it down in bullet points and then stop. Read through it and you will feel a gazillion times better, I promise. Self-denial is the worst because you will be unreachable. Sometimes its hard to let go off the past, we try to hold on to the familiar; drowning deeper and deeper till you’re willing to start kickin’ your way back up to the surface. It’s basic survival instinct. We get back up when we’re ready to take on the world again. When we decide that life and love has so much to offer if we allow nature to take its course. If there’s one thing you should know about me, I DON’T QUIT. :)  I fight for things worth fighting for and I always stand up for what I believe in.  I appreciate and value people based on their sincerity, principles and good values. Look into their hearts, not their eyes.

 

 

Selfies on Sunday :)

“You have the ability to have and do whatever you want if you satisfy all the conditions that will allow you to use your powerful mind to its full potential. You first have to be aware of what you want. The next step is to desire what you want. The next step involves  your beliefs. If your beliefs will allow the situation to occur, it will. But if your beliefs will not allow it to occur, you won’t do it. This is why the idea of subconscious programming is so important. It is the mechanism by which your old thought processes can be changed so you will have new beliefs.  You can succeed with no problem once you understand the power of your mind, and use it for the purpose it was created for: to give you everything and anything you want in life.

The subconscious mind acts as the translator to the conscious mind. It is given commands by the conscious mind and fulfills those commands with ease. The subconscious mind is also referred to as the go-between between the conscious and super-conscious mind.In order to program your mind to do what you want it to do, you first have to understand the subconscious mind and how it works, or you won’t know how to program the mind. You must learn how to control the subconscious mind so you can learn how to reprogram it. Only then will you have the ability to achieve personal development and reach the empowerment that only your mind can give you. Once you reach this plateau, you will be able to command anyone and get anything you want. Only then will you have fulfilled your dreams of living your life to the fullest. And what is so special about the procedure is that it really does not take long to perform the exercises you need to gain control and reprogram the subconscious mind.” [source]


Kokoro Ramen @Lonsdale Street.

Dessert Story @Swanston Street.

Roti telur @Mamak. :)

Maggi Goreng @Mamak.

Mister Close @Bourke Street, but entrance via Swanston Street.

A really good hot chocolate.

Mocha @Brunetti. :)

I can’t get over this burger. I’m not a huge fan of burgers but this was fairly ‘light’ and the name of the cafe was……………. CHEERIO!!! :)

Thanks for reading. I should hit the sack soon or else I won’t be able to hit the gym in the morning. The last thing on my mind? I hope that someday love will find its way back to me when I’m ready for it. Its true that time heals all wounds, and surprisingly I’m no longer wounded, in pain, or miserable. I’m really surprised to how much I’ve changed over the years when it comes to coping with grief. I can gladly say that I’m given my best and I have no regrets. Past is past. What lies ahead is far more exciting and besides, my birthday is coming soooooooooooooooon! :)



02

Because It’s Worth It.

August 2, 2013

Good day. I’m feeling way better today. First week of uni went pretty well and I’m really glad that things are picking up gradually. I’m a sucker for routine and I like planning my week ahead. I think its important to keep busy when you’re living on your own. Alone time is the best feeling in the world. As of right now, my weeks basically revolve around uni, assignments, gym, gaming (like duh! :D ), coffee dates, and I’m trying to get more sleep this semester. Apparently I’m known to be really discipline when it comes to time management, but I always compromise sleep and that’s probably something I’d like to work on.

Gonna start uploading photos a little more consistently, and I’m looking into getting a new camera soon. Met up with James two weeks ago, and I made him snap these photos along Bourke Street because I’ve recently rediscovered my long lost red coat hidden deep inside my closet. (it’s not really that deep honestly lol but..) It’s always nice to see a familiar face and listen to the usual rants of a Sydneysider who’s complaining about how its way too cold in Melbourne. :D

“I see pretty shoes……” :)

#OOTD. FYI, it was a cup of hot green tea from Dessert Story.

The entire series were captured within 30seconds because it got a little awkward and I ran out of poses hahaha. :D

Met up with Sophie at 8am yesterday for a quick breakkie session. 8AM IS WAY TOO EARLY FOR ME. I managed to brave the cold and thank goodness WonderBao opens really early!

Skin is getting better. Will write a proper post about the recent acne-scar products I’ve tried out over the last two months. I’m really happy that my cheeks are a little chubbier now because apparently having an obvious jawline/cheekbones poppin’ out made me look really unhealthy last semester. I haven’t gained any weight tho. :)

Brunch at Animal Orchestra along Grattan St with Nicole and Shallyn.

Spent the day with Povy. I actually live right next to the State Library of Victoria but I’ve only been inside twice. So we played tourist and went ooooooohahhhhhhhh around the main exhibition area surrounding the Dome. I’m always happy to catch up with old friends whenever they’re here in Melbourne for a visit. We might be visiting the Melbourne Aquarium next week!

#OOTD I absolutely love this laced top from ZARA, its not something I can wear in Malaysia without looking inappropriate. Love it nonetheless.

Squid Bulgogi @Oriental Spoon along La Trobe St.

Korean seafood hotpot with Cynthia and the Lam’s. :)

Megan’s Spicy pork ramen at Ajisen Ramen.

I ordered this but I can’t remember what it’s called. :|

Stella! :)

Coffee date with Megan @Brunettis. :)

Managed to catch a ray of light in this shot. :) Profiteroles!!!

Brunch @Lot6.

 

 

Meet Megan! :)

;) :)

Lunch date with Cynthia @Pancake Parlour :)

All-time favourite Country Breakfast.

 

Facetime session. Meet Pengu :)

Just a slight update on the Masters Design studio I’m working on this semester, it’s called “Getting to Yes”.

 

GETTING TO YES: Overcoming Barriers to Affordable Family Friendly Housing in the Inner City [source]

“This project seeks to answer the question: What are the major barriers to creating family friendly affordable housing in inner Melbourne, and how might these barriers be overcome?

In order to do this, the project researchers and partners will examine what form ‘family friendly’ housing may take, what ‘affordable’ housing means in the context of the inner city, and what market, industry, and institutional forces shape the current mix of housing options within the City of Melbourne’s local government area. An important focus of the research is the dynamics of the different actors that constitute the supply-side providers of housing in central Melbourne: planners, private developers, and non-profit housing providers. Together, we are investigating how the housing industry can incorporate ideas from international best practices.

Funding- $131,000 from the University of Melbourne’s Carlton Connect Initiatives Fund in 2013

University of Melbourne’s Carlton Connect Initiatives Fund (2013) with additional funding from- City of Melbourne, Places Victoria, Urban Development Institute of Australia (UDIA) and in kind contributions from- Planning Institute of Australia (PIA), Housing Choices Australia, Department of Transport, Planning and Local Infrastructure, McGauran Giannini Soon (MGS) Architects, SGS Economics and Planning”.
The research project involves industry representatives from local and state government, the development and property institute peak bodies, social housing and not-for-profit housing providers, and researchers from the fields of planning, social geography, architecture, urban design, and quantity surveying from the University of Melbourne. The research will suggest options for the private development industry, housing associations and planners to realise a greater diversity of housing form and tenure in the central city area.

The research team:

  • Associate Professor Carolyn Whitzman
  • Professor Ruth Fincher
  • Dr Peter Lawther
  • Ian Woodcock
  • Dr Andrew Martel
  • Danita Tucker

Research Partners:

  • City of Melbourne
  • Places Victoria
  • Urban Development Institute of Australia (UDIA)
  • Planning Institute of Australia (PIA)
  • Housing Choices Australia
  • Department of Transport, Planning and Local Infrastructure
  • McGauran Giannini Soon (MGS) Architects
  • SGS Economics and Planning

True love is unconditional. At least that is what I’d like to hold on to. I’m glad last night happened. Being able to arrive at that point meant something to me. I’m not really keen on sharing the details but it’s all good. At least I know that it was real, sincere and appreciated. Honestly, I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’ve stopped being fearful about the future. You can be afraid about failing yourself and not living up to expectations, but let’s be frank here, feed off the excitement from uncertainties. Bet on it, and do your part to make it happen. People have always wondered why such a strong positive take on the future? I’d gladly say that when you stop giving into fear, you’ll realize that we’re way stronger than we think we are. So if you are reading this, I’d urge you to just inject good faith that good things, too, happen to people when you strive to do good in life. Give more than you take, give without expecting anything in return. Even if you’re raised in a highly skeptical society where being ‘nice’ may come off as being pretentious. Being calculative and skeptical too, is a form of fear of being let down/betrayed/unappreciated.

Just be fearless. And it will all work out. Trust me! :)



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